These days it would be difficult to spot youngsters without social media handles, especially Facebook. The platform has become an integral part of every youngster’s life. From connecting with friends to promoting ventures and knowing current affairs, they depend on it. This virtual world of hashtags has both united and divided people on various occasions. A lot of discussions have taken place on the negative sides of Facebook. How can one use it wisely? The recent trend, Facebook Matrimony, rakes up this question again.
This trend came into the spotlight when Ranjish Manjeri, native of Malappuram, posted a proposal on Facebook seeking a suitable partner. Though many have met, interacted and got married with the help of Facebook before, Ranjish’s post went viral, marking the beginning of the trend. It turned out to be a success. He put the post on July 30 in 2017 and married Sarigama, a native of Alappuzha, in April.
“I was 34 then. I looked for a bride through matchmakers and matrimonial websites for seven years, but everything turned futile. Horoscope, caste and my job were the villains in most cases. Everyone needed government employees,” says Ranjish, who is a photographer. It was a risk because nobody had attempted it before. There was fear in his mind about people’s response. But his mentor, who wants to remain anonymous, encouraged him to go ahead. “It was a difficult process,” he recalls.
“I sorted out the proposals, contacted the selected persons for a few days to know whether they were genuine and proceeded with those I found apt,” he says. Ranjish kept posting developments and when he found Sarigama, he announced that too on his account, putting an end to the search. “I was very clear about my goal. I needed a life partner. So, I didn’t encourage friendships. I blocked them all.” The way Sarigama, a teacher, and Ranjish met is also interesting. “She contacted me for her colleague as we both belonged to the same caste. But her friend’s father was adamant about horoscopes matching, so we dropped it. Sarigama’s profile had a picture of her with a child and I asked her about the child. She said it wasn’t her child. We continued our conversation, met in real life and I proposed to her. Then, our families met and we finally got married,” he says.
Seeing Ranjish’s success, Jyothi K.G., who is also from Malappuram, too put a post on Facebook with all details. She also mentioned that posting vulgar comments is a crime. “The response has been really good. I get 500 to 600 calls a day. I am yet to choose one. It will take time,” says Jyothi, a fashion designing graduate. Her parents are no more. “I have two siblings,” she says. A few negative comments appeared under her post but Jyothi says, it didn’t affect her at all. “If a person behaves badly, it is their problem. Also, I have mentioned in the post that I would legally move towards those who put vulgar comments. What I found interesting is that many persons have reacted against those negative comments, supporting me. Then, why should I worry? Isn’t that a support for my mission?” she asks. “I am happy about the outcome.”
Jyothi also intends to promote the idea of ‘Facebook Matrimony’. She says, “It is a vast place. If Facebook takes an initiative to connect like-minded people, it would be helpful. I have written to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.” Hope Jyothi’s prayers have been heard. A few days ago Zuckerberg announced that Facebook is soon to launch a dating service. However, the trend seems to be catching and many have started posting their proposals on Facebook. Santhosh George is another example. “When I posted, many of my friends took it negatively. But I saw them doing the same when I met my goal,” says Ranjish.
Jyothi feels this trend will grow. “I have seen many people posting proposals after I did,” Ranjish concurs. “I get calls from people asking how to do it. I tell them the method I adopted. If I feel they are genuine, I share their post on my wall. I am happy if it helps them,” he says. What makes Facebook a good option? “It is free and a wide space. It reaches a larger audience quickly,” says Jyothi. “More than that, it is a friendly space. There are no middlemen. You can contact the person directly and, above all, you can study them well. You can learn about a person to some extent from his Facebook feed,” she believes. Social media expert Tinu Cherian points to the other side of this trend. “Facebook or other social media profiles have always been used by people for ‘background checks’ during marriage proposals. But someone soliciting proposals so openly on Facebook is very rare. A lot of people may view this as a sign of desperation. Facebook is primarily a platform for existing human connections – not for making new ones. Lack of privacy of proposals on such an open platform will also be a hurdle,” he says. He is right. Like everything, this too has two sides. What one needs is courage. With Facebook all set to launch the dating service, if you give it a shot, it may change your life.
