“Not feeling up to sex” is a statement that can creep into any middle-aged man’s life and disturb his wife more than him. While the man may believe that his career is the cause, his wife will worry that the cause is either her altered contours or his secretary. Sexual intercourse is like an orchestra playing a symphony. And the symphony consists of certain stages. Each stage helps the other to build a complete and satisfying experience. When one of the stages is not in tune with the others, then trouble begins.
Tips for middle-aged men to fine-tune their waning sex life:
Identify which part/stage of your sex life is not in tune with the others. Sometimes, it is not just one stage but a combination of stages that may be the culprits.
Pain of any sort during intercourse may leave behind a fear of pain. A man with a slipped disc might need to opt for different coital positions.
Anxiety of any sort is the greatest killer of sex drive. In fact, the three great enemies of sex are ignorance, fear and anxiety. Anxieties range from a slowing down of sexual response, errant children, competition in business, approaching retirement and more. Watch out for it and find therapeutic measures.
A man will benefit by zeroing in on these enemies of sex rather than breaking his head against the bed. If in doubt, consult your doc!
“A lot of what you fancy does you no good. If you have to fancy, fancy the latest heart throb and not your middle age.”
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
