Societal pressures stop men from talking about ED which is a question of masculinity
Chennai: Like any other bride, Krithika (name changed) entered into wedlock with lots of dreams and hopes. But when her marriage remained non- consummated for months, she realised that something was amiss in her husband.
Her husband’s erection – which sustains for a very short time – prevented them to have a successful intercourse. Nights have become scary for Krithika as she was blamed for the failed attempts.
“My attempts to take him to a sexologist were turned down with harsh words on my libido. He often blamed my petite figure for not being aroused. My self-confidence completely died as I believed him and suffered in silence,” she revealed.
To strengthen his point, he started meeting other women - who in his own words are “more attractive than his wife”. It took some years for her to understand that it was just a ploy to cover-up his inefficiency. “He never discussed the issue with any of his friends or relatives. Instead, he exaggerated about our sexual life to his friends and portrayed himself as a hero,” Krithika added.
He was not ready to admit the fact that he has a problem. She recalled it was the main hindrance in seeking medical help. She had even suffered violence in the process of convincing him to go to a doctor.
Krithika’s is not an isolated case. There are many men in our society who silently suffer from Erectile Dysfunction (ED), a condition where a man has persistent difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection sufficient to have sex.
Praveen (name changed) who is 35 has been battling with ED for more than five years now. He suffers in silence, as he is too embarrassed to seek medical advice. He was branded ‘unmasculine’ after revealing the problem to close friends.
It is also the fear of being teased that stops many men like Praveen from opening up about ED, even though the range of treatments currently available are effective.
“Society, which glorifies men, also brands them with harsh names if a man is found impotent. Such discussions only invite teasing, besides questioning manliness. It is difficult to open up about sexual problems, as men are stereotyped to be capable,” Praveen said who preferred to remain unmarried due to his inability.
According to sexologists, ED has become a serious medical condition wreaking havoc in the lives of many married couples. Sridhar S, a sexologist said, “Besides stress, it is also caused due to addiction to online porn. The problem, which was witnessed much among men over 40 years, is now seen in adolescent men too. Excessive smoking and drinking are other reasons.”
“From vacuum pumps to drugs and creams, there are many options to tackle the condition. It is just that men don’t take the first step to approach a sexologist,” he explained.
What is impotency
Impotency is suffered by both the genders. Defect in development of external and internal genitals, inability to menstruate and ovulate make women impotent. Mental impotency is also noticed among women wherein they have psychological or moral dislike to the sexual act.
