Movies like The Intern and the forthcoming B-town flick, Ki & Ka have touched the topic – A refreshing change or a fleeting fad; we’re yet to infer, but the trend certainly is gaining traction in the city – Yes, a volley of Bengalureans are considering an arrangement where men take to stay-at- home options while their wives are fully absorbed into 9-5 corporate jobs. We delve deeper through a candid chat with the followers of the practice.
Rahul Nanda, an entrepreneur and stay-at-home parent mentions, “We started this back in 2012. It was more of a natural progression. I saw this as an opportunity to bond with my son, which I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to if I were in a full time job.” On the other hand, Amandeep Sandhu, a freelancer, who has been a stay-at-home husband after quitting his corporate job two years ago, adds, “I’ve been pre-occupied with a host of things. My wife and I are completely in sync with this as we believe in sharing responsibilities. We'd not follow conventional norms but go with what seems convenient for us." Similarly, Abhishek Nigam* a freelance nutritionist has been a stay-at-home husband ever since his marriage in 2007 and is going steady.
The good, bad and ugly: On whether the prying eyes of acquaintances ever seemed as a deterrent, Rahul asserts, “I see it as an opportunity, which lets me spend quality time with my son. I’m secure and know I will get where I want to eventually, so idle chatter doesn’t really matter.” However, Abhishek Nigam* reveals that it wasn’t an easy path to tread upon. “When I decided to take a sabbatical, everyone suddenly took unwanted interest in our lives. A neighbour even asked me if I was fighting depression! It’s ridiculous that the society talks so much about feminism and equality. But the minute there's a digression from the typical, it raises eyebrows.”
Better halves speak: Anuradha, Rahul's wife opines how it’s got little to do with men and women and more about individuals who believe in gender neutrality. “Unlike what most people think, the idea is not about man v/s women or vice versa. For us, it’s about who wants to do what in the journey.” She goes on to add, “Yes, people are a little too curious. But it really doesn’t matter because we’re aware and feel it’s probably the best way the both of us get to spend quality time with our child.”
Meanwhile, Lakshmi Karunakaran (Amandeep’s wife) believes the feasibility of the idea comes down to streamlining things. “My husband has been trying this for a while. It’s working out well for us because we’ve made an effort to work around it so that the either of us don’t feel inadequate.”
Conclusively, Rashmi V Mallya, a relationship counsellor, sages advice by stating, “Communicate well, and do it by keeping the best interests of the family and your spouse in mind — that’s the key to sustaining the idea.”
(*some names have been changed to protect identity of the men.)
