“You are frigid. You take a long time to get ready for sex. I get tired by then,” accused Mrinal. His wife Neha retorted, “Why bother? Before I get started, you are done.”
This is the scene in many a bedroom. A multitude of studies have shown that women take more time to get where males get in 30 seconds flat.
Many men fail to realise that need to adjust to the pace of the partner. Consider the sex act as a three act play — fore play, play and after-play.
Fore play, again, is mistaken as kissing and hugging. Foreplay means anything that comes before sex — including what takes place long before the stripping.
Foreplay does not have to start in bed. It can even start the day before, with anticipation and teasing.
To enhance the anticipation, try developing some ‘sexual signals’. One such signal can be running your fingers along your throat in slow motion. The signal could mean: “I can’t wait to get you in bed.” Now the foreplay has started hours before you two have even touched.
Tips For men:
- Invent sexual signals and use it to inform her.
- Set the scene. Whisper sweet nothings before you drag her to the bed.
- Start with non-genital caressing. She needs to know that you care about her.
Tips For women:
- Communicate your needs and wants. If he does not know what you want, he can’t give it to you.
- Guide him how to caress you.
- Wear sexy lingerie under your clothes while at home.
Drive each other nuts before you start the act. Only then you can have incredible orgasms.
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
