The older man-younger woman pairing has scorched the celluloid since time immemorial — Be it films like Nishabd, Cheeni Kum, Third Person, American Beauty and the like. Even off screen, history is laden with male celebs who’ve tied the knot with partners who are at least a decade younger. And the trend isn’t fizzling out any time soon — As per the findings of popular studies, an age difference of at least six years is touted as ‘ideal’ between a man and woman. Moreover, in an era where one starts-up at 25, retires at 40, and charts out on exotic holidays at 60; has an age disparity been reduced into an aspect that might as well be overlooked? We talk to the city’s young folk to give us their perspective about how the old-school way of courtship is back.
Love across generations?:
“I’ve dated younger women in the past. The reason was quite simple – most men like women who look up to them in one form or the other. When there’s an age gap, more often than not, men get to play the mentor, which in a way boosts the male ego. Women, on the other hand, perceive older and more successful men as a safer bet in the long run,” says Mayank Modi, a designer.
Rajat Bongala* a 37-year-old-film-maker reveals how the hullabaloo around age reflects an underlying streak of hypocrisy. “ Lets look around, don’t we see some of the most successful stars getting hitched to women much younger than them? Stability plays a very important role in long-term relationships courtship, and a great deal of it comes from a man. I’ve been in a relationship with a woman eight years my junior and I don’t think the age factor has ever seemed as a deterrent. Marriages break or relationships fall apart when one of the partners aren’t able to offer a certain sense of stability- and a large part of it comes over time. Hence women don’t mind the gap as they prefer and perceive security as one of the most integral factors to sustaining a relationship.”
Mona Ahluwalia*, a young 24-year-old creative professional, who has been dating an acquaintance since she was 18 tells us, “From how I see it, the age is probably one of the most irrelevant things to consider. Also, women tend to mature earlier than men. This works to our advantage as we can get along more with something who’s slightly older and reliable. It makes the journey more interesting when two people have a different insights to bring to the table.”
On the other hand, Tanya Shukla*, educationist who previously was in a relationship with an older man, opines, “While most people date older men thinking it gives them a certain sense of security. It’s not a fail-safe option that guarantees a happy relationship. I believe clarity of communication is a must, since there’s a high probablity that you’re partner has a radically different view than yours. So if not dealt properly, it can get tricky.”
Expert speak: “The threshold of romance isn’t the same for all. Younger individuals today are more aware and sorted about what they need. Hence, they are laying emphasis on factors that will bring them convenience and support. In fact, there isn’t a hard and fast rule for anything, which includes relationships today,” infers Seema Chandra, a psychologist and counsellor.
—names with * have been changed to protect their confidentiality.
