You’re enveloped with discomfort when you picture a successful woman in her prime with a younger man beside her. Older women, specifically those who are in relationships with younger men, have long been slapped with degrading and vulgar labels such as ‘MILF’ and ‘cougar’ for decades now. Stemming from fantasies and controversial affairs, women have found these terminologies offensive and degrading. But the latest trend to have taken over the Internet in an attempt to turn this phenomenon around with a positive acronym is WHIP — ‘women who are hot, intelligent and in their prime’. It aims to eventually take over the two offensive terminologies.
Mahesh Babu and Namrata Shirodkar.
Actress Pooja Bedi takes time out to explore the definitions of the earlier two terminologies. “Cougar is a more predatorial take on older women in relationship with younger men. It sounds more like the woman is snatching or predating on somebody else’s partner! It is also a term for women to express their own fetish — of being interested in being with younger men,” she explains.
Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron
“On the other hand, MILF is a term that is born out of male fantasy, specifically what the man deems desirable based on his likes and dislikes of the female body,” she adds.
Even as Pooja has a stoic view on the terminologies, Nisha Jamwal, columnist and luxury consultant, believes that these really are harmful words with connotations that malign the female body. “I think terms like MILF and cougar are predominantly derogatory for a woman — they suggest an objectification of women that needs to be objected to,” she says.
Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai
The question is, will the terminology WHIP stick around? Shaili Chopra of SheThePeople, a storytelling platform for women that reinforces them to grow both professionally and personally, is glad that relationship power dynamics is being looked at in a different way. “Firstly, I don’t think that relationships need to have any kind of restrictions depending on age. For a really long time, younger women have sought safety in older men — and this is why the older man-younger woman dynamic is acceptable. When it comes to relationships, why can’t gender roles be reversed? We will become a true democratic when we let people choose whomever they want to be with,” she says.
Neeti Palta, a standup comedienne who does shows with a female point of view, has her doubts about the terminology. “This sounds like something a woman has come up with,” she says, and rightly so.
Writer Bibi Lynch came up with the suggestion on a British daytime show. “Personally, I think terms that are more degrading are the ones that catch up with the times and stick around for longer. This one has a more “respect me” vibe that probably won’t gel well with most people,” she points out.
Wedding planner Vidya Singh says, “If a man can go out with a much younger woman, why should a woman not be able to go out with a younger man? Age is not a bar for anything. The concept of age itself has changed — 50 years ago, 60 was considered very very old. I think WHIP is a very good acronym and I love what the word denotes. I’m glad that people are thinking about it in positive terms. We should throw out the term ‘cougar’ because it has got a predatory sound to it.”
Pooja Bedi strongly thinks that the term won’t replace MILF. “The two words stem from completely different sources — one from male fantasies and the other from an attempt by women to empower women. I don’t see how these two will ever coincide,” she concludes.
