In the digital era, social media handles are the gardens where friendships bloom. A positive side of social media is that it lets one widen his/her friendship zone with friends who can be categorised as ‘clearly known’ and ‘not-so-known’. Are these friendships reliable? This question has always been associated with the space. For a long time, virtual friendships have only been labeled as unnecessary and untrustworthy. However, the opinion is changing. Of course, like a coin, it has two sides. However, some past incidents, including the August floods, have proved that virtual friends can, sometimes, be the friend in need. This Friendship Day, let’s explore a few bright sides of virtual buddies.
Online friends:
It is the situation where you have a friend on the other end whom you may or may not have met in person. According to Shamil Francis, assistant professor of English, St Xavier’s College for Women, Aluva, virtual friendships are not entirely bad. “You cannot put the likes and comments of your virtual friends over the face-to-face communication with your real friends. But, virtual friendships are not a complete bane,” she opines while Sruthy S. Menon, assistant professor of English Literature at Swamy Saswatikananda College, Poothotta, adds that it is a place that works on mutual understanding. “In this era of social media, virtual friendship has gained its own prominence in millions of hearts by creating a virtual interface,” she says.
Cartoonman Ibrahim Badusha finds the virtual friends as a modernised form of pen pals. And, he has a lot of positive aspects to list. “Virtual space allows us to easily reach people from different walks of life. These days, almost all of us are available online most of the time. And, it is easier to reach out. Moreover, you can widen your friend circle. One space, many minds,” he says.
Emotional support
Online friends can be a solace for the lonely and depressed if the person has the mind or willpower to ask for help. Badusha says, “If you are stressed over an issue and desperately need to talk to someone, you will find at least one person online.” Shamil agrees. “Virtual friends can be a source of support to loners, introverts and physically challenged persons who find face-to-face communication difficult,” she explains.
It works the other way too. Many times, social media posts serve as the window to a person’s feelings. “Posts may give some signs about their mental state. If you find something wrong or unnatural in your friends’ posts, you can go and check them. If used wisely, social media can play a crucial role in preventing suicides,” Badusha feels.
Opportunities:
As it is a wide platform, possibilities to explore avenues are more. “One can br with people all over the world and widen their horizons for opportunities,” says Shamil, while Badusha adds that certain online friends are forever. “I have such friends, whom I met first online and then many times off line.”
Sruthy is grateful to social media for being a platform to horn her creativity. “It has allowed me to be the co-author of a few anthologies, and interact with great writers who motivate me to write more,” she says.
Disaster Management:
It was the floods in August 2018 that made Keralites aware of the most useful side of social media friendship. Keralites across the globe converged on the online space to help the victims, coordinating with volunteers. Shamil, who was one of the volunteers, recalls, “When landline and mobile networks stopped suddenly, social media rose to the occasion. I was part of two huge WhatsApp volunteer groups which had members from Middle East countries as well. All strangers. I befriended them; they helped me a lot in passing information to track the trapped and missing, and to distribute aid. I handled over 10/15 calls across Thrissur and Ernakulam a day. They were random people, but genuine ones, who were brought together by the commitment to overcome the disaster. I strongly believe it is a great platform to bring such like-minded people together. There were instances when random people spread unverified information and false requests for help, but that was very few.
Where like-minded people meet
Take a look around, one can see plenty of groups in various fields that have base on the virtual space. These friends form the structure online, then meet off line and gradually, branch out their activities. Cinema Paradiso Club (CPC), a Facebook group where movie buffs meet, is one such instance. Arun Ashok, an admin of CPC, says the group was formed in 2011, taking inspiration from the popular blog Berlytharangal. The initial set of CPC friends met at the comment section of the blog and later they formed the group online. Over time, many like-minded persons joined their venture, making it one of the biggest cinema lovers’ platforms in Kerala. From posts and discussions, they graduated to making short films, film-related videos and even an award ceremony! Thanks to virtual friends. “One of the advantages of social media is the availability of plenty of resources. Our group has movie lovers with diverse point of views, who are willing to work towards bringing quality content. Whenever we meet, by default, we discuss cinema, which improves our knowledge about the medium, too,” he says. Many early members of CPC have turned filmmakers now, the recent instance being makers of Thanneermathan Dinangal. “The interactions help us evolve.”
Two sides and the right choice
It is true that virtual space offers amble possibilities, but not devoid of negatives. “You should be capable of realising the worth of a real friend who stands with you in all circumstances,” says Sruthi.
Different people with different characters are there. The key is choosing the right friend, like in real life. “Characteristics of both real and virtual friendships are same, only the platform changes. For instance, trust issues. It is all about choosing the right friend and maintaining a healthy, selfless relationship. When we make friends with certain gains in mind and they fail to meet our expectations, the friendship will suffer,” says Badusha.
Let’s be wise and honest to savour the true sense of friendship, making all days a toast to friendship!
