To say this world isn’t a safe place for women isn’t a tall claim. The harassment of women permeates geographical and social boundaries. Power dynamics mostly play a role in sexual harassment. Thinking that the perpetrators are usually men who aren’t brought up well is a wrong notion. The world is rife with men in power who are habitual boundary-crossers.
The recent case of Bishop Charles H. Ellis III touching singer Ariana Grande inappropriately is just another addition to the long list of incidents wherein ‘privileged men’ misbehave with women.
Charles H. Ellis III, who officiated Aretha Franklin’s funeral, awkwardly greeted Grande after her performed. He held her close, with his fingers pressed against the side of her breasts. While the Bishop has apologised to Ariana and her fans for his “too friendly” gesture, why do men think they can get away with just a ‘sorry’?
Taking a leaf out of the #Metoo campaign, Srilatha Srikant, a psychotherapist and REBT practitioner, says, “The #Metoo movement, as well as various instances in India and abroad, tell us it’s a myth that only uneducated men misbehave with women. Education may well be a veneer and mask feelings of disrespect for the woman or an underlying sense of male entitlement. Educated men are frail, faulty human beings too at the end of the day.” She adds, “If the male has gotten away with such misbehaviour in the past because the woman was too scared or unwilling to protest, he may repeat the act. In others, there is the thrill of getting away with a misdemeanour in a public place.” She also cites the example of renowned journalist Tarun Tejpal allegedly harassing a female colleague.
Tarun Tejpal and Harvey Weinstein
Unfortunately, Bill Clinton was also spotted ‘checking out’ Ariana at the same event. The former President of the USA has been trolled on the internet ever since, with many calling his actions gross and creepy. Senior vice-president of Rainmaker Legal Compliance and Miss Universe India 2011, Vasuki Sunkavalli believes that good upbringing or education do not guarantee civilised behaviour. “Many educated and intellectually driven men also misbehave with women. I don’t think class or education has anything to do with it. A perverted mind is a perverted mind. If you are an attractive woman, it is automatically assumed that you have no brains, and thus you wouldn’t voice your protest if something wrong happens to you. I feel the only way to deal with this is to name and shame the perpetrator,” Vasuki expresses.
Resonating her thoughts, Vishala Reddy, founder and director of IdentCITY, adds that it’s high time men were told what their limits are. “Everyone is talking about the Bishop, but look at the kind of leadership that the country is under. We all have heard Donald Trump’s ‘locker room talk’ before the presidential elections in the US and yet he won. Thankfully with more and more women, especially celebrities, coming out and talking about it, there is more awareness about women harassment.”
Many times women are also caught off guard and thus don’t react to a situation immediately. “If you feel something is wrong, then it just is,” says model Alice Rosario, adding, “Having a degree is not going to teach them how to respect a woman, neither will having a lavish upbringing. It’s only when they know that a girl is not going to keep quiet and that they will have to face public embarrassment, maybe that will make an impact.”
One statement of the Bishop that received wide bashing on the internet was that the incident was “unintentional”. “No one gives a damn about the intentions of a man. It is how that girl has perceived it,” says Vasuki, adding, “Some girls might be OK with a physical touch, some might not. So, just err on the side of caution. The Bishop’s action was highly inappropriate. Ignorance is no longer an excuse.”
