Tyke' the talk route
‘The best, or nothing,’ this popular tagline of a German auto biggie holds a great deal of truth, in keeping with the perspectives and lives of today’s millennials. Especially how their parents handle everyday pressures of the ‘smart’ age and their demands. On Children’s Day, Bengaluru Chronicle documents issues that young city parents have come on record with, throwing light on how the changing times have pressed their adolescents and teenagers to crave for the skies. We explore the tough line parents have to tow to maintain a balance in our fast-paced existence.
“It’s an art to raise a child. Children as young as six or seven are extremely aware, and there’s a lot more clarity about what they want — which can get unnerving and pressurising for the parents. My daughter prefers to log into her iPad to finish her homework the minute she enters the house, and then move on to watch something on Netflix rather than going to great lengths explaining about what happened at school on a particular day to me. The need for a one-on-one communication is dying and it’s an unhealthy trend as most parents today are not fully conscious about what exactly their child wants or what his influences are,” shares city-based make-up artiste Dipthi Aashok, who has a seven-and-a-half-year-old daughter who goes to the Canadian International School. Interestingly, young parents are walking the tightrope by trying to create a healthy balance between what’s realistic and downright ridiculous. Bengaluru rallyist Anitha Kholay wryly records how her 11-year-old’s growing demands have pushed her to become a more careful and responsible parent. “When my son demanded for a TAG Heuer watch last week, it alerted me as to how important it is for parents to lend a listening ear to their growing kids. Know who your kids are hanging out with, and have realistic conversations with them. I see many parents take it rather lightly when their kids make demands about wanting to go on a holiday by blurting out the names of places they can’t even pronounce. It’s not funny, as I think it’s always important to be a sensible parent over just ‘a cool mum or dad’.
Spend quality time with your kids when you’re in an affable mood, and get an insight into what their friends are talking about. You also need to be realistic — and see what’s trending so that you have a point that makes sense to them. Children tend to open up more among parents who are aware and can put themselves in their child’s place and empathise. Be sensible before you try knocking some sense into your children!” she states.
Radio professional Snigdha Kemkar, who is a mother of two, believes it’s important to be more affable than authoritarian. “The minute your child hits his/her teens, they are acquainted to concepts like partying, late night clubbing and sleepovers. You need to infuse a degree of responsibility rather than fear into them. Teenagers today have access to a lot of channels so trying to be a micro-manager is a futile attempt. The channels and methods of control have changed, and it’s important to be more empathetic.”
Expert quote: Dr Anitha Jain, a clinical psychologist, gives us a few tips to remember while donning the hat of a new-age parent. “It’s downright silly when parents expect their children to be schooled the way they were. Stop using references of your growing up years and start looking around to see how the times have changed. Build a healthy rapport with your child’s circle, and ensure there’s regular communication that is open and inviting. Think of it as an investment and try adopting a more understanding approach. The right approach to parenting is more about understanding your child than exercising a control over them. Be patient and always show the real picture of any issue, than beating around the bush.”