Hate and anger are huge emotional investments, just like the feelings of love and kindness. Do not waste it on selfish people in your present or people who are now living only in your past.
As a professional author and coach, I have rarely met an individual who is completely at peace with his/her family, friends and colleagues. It is very stupid to let anyone from your past upset you in the present. This article presents a ‘chess-move paradigm’ that I frequently use in my life to destroy negative emotions about anyone in my life. I have been a chess player since the age of 7 and I cannot tell you how much I love the game. It is has taught me so many great things about life. I view everything that people do or say to me as a chess move in the game of life. This does not mean I have my guard up always. This is specifically for those couple of people in your life whom you cannot avoid maybe because of some official or family relationship.
Learn from past games but do not stop playing: When you get beaten in a game of chess, you can actually track what went wrong. You can learn from your past mistakes and bring the lessons to the next game. You do not stop playing the game because every defeat makes you smarter.
Commend your enemy: If you lose something because of others, do not blame them. Commend their move and make sure you never lose again because of the same mistake. Do not be fooled or get frustrated by their words or actions. I am always asking myself ‘how can I outsmart the move made by the other person?’
Plan your next move: If you are not as smart as the person you are playing, you will always lose. I suggest keep preparing and improving your game. Take coaching, read books, get skilled, hedge your risks and know the powerful people who can help you when you need them.
Always be up for the next game: If the stakes are important for you, then do not quit. Do not expect people to play by your rules. Rules and motives differ for every individual. Therefore, if you are tired of unethical people, then leave the relationship but never stop playing. You can always get out of a relationship, job or network you do not like. Be prepared for the next challenge with all your mental and emotional strength.
I strongly suggest to release your boss, ex-lovers, estranged family members and former friends from the emotional prison you have built in your mind. Take responsibility for your losses, give credit for your victories. You will also realise that you are your greatest opponent in life. Learn to play chess, if you do not already play it.
