It’s time for New Year resolutions again! Everyone’s busy drawing up lists. But what most people forget is that a proper state of mind is a prerequisite for achieving any goal. Happiness is the most desired state of mind. So, can we make a resolution to pursue it this New Year?
In an interview to DC, Dr. Yamini Kannappan, Consultant Psychiatrist, Kauvery Hospital, shares a bit of wisdom in this regard - “A resolution should come from a deeper understanding of the purpose of your life” she says. “Happiness itself can never be a goal; it is a by-product of goals.”
Happiness is hard to come by in today’s world of cut-throat competition. “Competition will be there, but the most important thing is how we perceive it. We cannot live without stress, but how we manage stress effectively is the key. Psychological flexibility is crucial to this generation,” she says.
“Maladaptive coping strategies like drug abuse or withdrawal never have positive outcomes”, the psychiatrist cautions. “It means you’re just trying to numb your mind. We have to learn to embrace negativity as well as positivity. Understand that negative emotions have a survival value. If you’re fearful, or anxious, it’s signalling something. If you’re bored, it signals that you may be stagnating, and you need to take steps to move forward.”
Talking of the importance of confronting negative feelings, she says, “rather than shoving them under the carpet and saying ‘I should not be negative anymore’, it is important to try and navigate through these negative emotions. Life cannot be full of forced optimism. Negative emotions can be important catalyst for change.”
On how to tackle a stressful work environment or toxic relationship, Dr.Yamini says, “the locus of control should always be inside. If you goal is to grow and be happy, whatever happens, do not react to the situation emotionally. You can try talking to the concerned person. Running away from adversity never helps.”
About grooming children and the trend of ‘helicopter parenting’ driven by the quest for academic excellence, her advice is that “Parents should let their children go through failures and inculcate empathy in them.”
