Thiruvananthapuram: Hugging between a boy and a girl in a higher secondary school is not common in Kerala. So when two students of St Thomas Central School, Mukkolokkal, displayed their affection publicly during a youth festival held on the campus on July 21, the management dismissed the boy and ‘removed the girl from the school register.’This has brought to focus the issues of discipline, privacy and child rights. Does the school have the power to regulate the behaviour of students and what constitutes a decent behaviour and indecent behaviour? However, the CBSE has decided not to harm the students concerned – the boy aged 17 of 12th class and the girl aged 16 of 11th. CBSE regional officer Dinesh Ram clarified that a decision will be taken keeping in mind the interest of the students and that they would not lose their academic year.
Though the Kerala State Commission for Protection of Child Rights asked the school run by the Mar Thoma Church Educational Society to take back the students, the school approached the High Court, which on December 12 stayed the decision. Kochi-based psychiatrist Dr C.J. John says that the increasing cases of issues reported from campuses worried him about the disabilities in teaching skills.
“Teaching is not all about knowledge transfer only. It is also about application of psychological skills. The point of discussion is whether the hug was long or short. Even if it was a hug with sexual tendency it was natural at teenage. The problem is that teachers do not have the psychological skills to deal with it. They opt for the easier way of disciplining the child, that is throw them out,” says Dr John. Dr Aravind Thampi, assistant professor at the psychology department of SN College, Chempazhanthy, said that the issue is not who is right and who is wrong.
“It has to do with cultural differences with many students from other states and NRIs also in the list. There is an identity crisis for students caught between the real world and the virtual world. The teachers are caught in the time warp to adapt to the changing times. The management is caught between the volatility of the students and the expectations of discipline. The teachers fail to individually connect to students in a class where the teacher student ratio is 1:40 or above. The BEd curriculum is inadequate to have a proper psychological approach while dealing with such problems. This makes the managements and the teachers take the easiest route throw out the undisciplined,” said Mr Thampi.
Mr. Balamurali, founder, Greenvalley International School, Peyad, Thiruvananthapuram, said that parents and teachers should have more trust in students. “It will enable us to have an open discussion on any issues they face, including attraction towards opposite sex at teenage. If children are brought up in an environment where they like to seek the help from teachers and parents for their adolescent problems, they will be self-disciplined and mature enough to solve their teenage problems. Teachers and schools should stop treating children like dump fellows without having values; rather they need to inculcate moral values and social conventions through dialogue and reflection. By threatening and creating fear we can't inculcate moral values in them,” said Mr Balamurali.
Mr Anil Philip, whose child was a former student of the school, thinks that the schools follow double standards. This same school did not have the guts to sack a teacher who allegedly molested a girl student of class V a few years back. Despite several complaints, nothing happened and finally, the student had to leave the school, said Mr Philip.
Meanwhile, the alumni of the school have initiated a campaign in the change.org seeking the readmission of the students in the school. The petition initiated by one Preeti Krishnan in the portal has over 2500 till now. The petition says: “As alumni, we are extremely upset and dismayed at how our alma mater has chosen to respond to what very apparently seems to be a rather innocuous adolescent behaviour, in which no harassment or assault was involved.
We believe that the school should aim to develop future citizens who can participate in the world in thoughtful and creative ways. Given how men and women are encouraged to participate equally in all aspects of our lives - science, politics, technology, medicine - it seems anachronistic that the management of a co-educational institution believes that “hugging and handshakes between a boy and a girl on the school premises were against the discipline and conduct of the school rules.”
It depends on cultural context: Aravind Thampi
Experts are of the view that there are different types of hugs indicating different things in different contexts, different people and different cultures. There is the friendly hug, the romantic hug, passionate hug and so on. The hug which may seem offensive for one person may not be offensive to another person or even to the same person in a different situation.
Aravind Thampi, assistant professor of SN College, Chempazhanthi told DC that there was no definite criteria to distinguish each hug. It depends on the cultural context. For example, people of Britain do not publically express affection. They are very formal and may wish you by just a handshake. People of America on the other hand, are passionate in their relationships. They express friendship through a hug, said.
The meaning of each hug may vary according to situation and also on the person whom you hug. There are no hard and fast rules which govern them. It may even vary from person to person, Mr Thampi said. However, one way of identifying different forms of hugs depended on duration and intimacy. However, there are no rules that define each type of hug. They are also very much depended on the culture in which one lived, said Mr Thampi.
