Chennai: “Discovery of his online persona was a rude shock to me. I never imagined he could have an ugly face, an entirely different persona online from what he appears to be. He hid it from me for a long time and was fooling around with other women,” said Shanti (name changed), a resident of Medavakkam.
She is a teacher by profession and now lives with her two-year-old daughter in a one-bedroom apartment. Shanti recollects that soon after her marriage she realised that her husband has an erectile dysfunction and her pleas to consult a doctor fell on deaf ears. Later, she discovered that he was flirting with women whom he befriends online, especially on Facebook. But it did not take too long for those seemingly harmless online flirting to progress to sex chats to ugly video chats to real life sexual escapades. Every time her confrontations with him ended up in physical abuse and violence by her husband.
“My attempts to get out of the marriage were dealt with cries, apologies and requests for another chance. In hindsight, I know I was also not bold enough to face the world alone and I blindly trusted his promise to change. Now doctors tell me that his online persona as that of a Cupid is just another ploy by him to hide his impotency,” said Shanti.
Nearly 5,000 cases relating to matrimonial disputes have been filed in the four family courts in Chennai and more than 15,000 cases were pending in the city alone. The total number of cases filed in Chennai has increased from 2,723 in 2005 to 2,900 in 2016 (till August 1).
Marriage counsellors, advocates and couples unanimously accept that fact that social media is one of the villains in growing divorce cases. “About 60 per cent of divorce cases are filed by women and Facebook is mentioned in one third of the divorce filings,” said George William, lawyer who practises in the Madras High Court. Extra-marital relationships are at an all-time high and social media is the main villain, he said.
Social networking sites bombarded with half-truths and some facts have corrupted the minds and made irreparable damages in the family relationships. With social networking sites many homes have lost the intimate interactions among couples and it deepens the divide between them. The anonymity and secrecy of social media lure people into online escapades which finally break homes is what experts have been saying for a while now.
“I decided to end my marriage after I found my wife’s naked pictures online. I later discovered that she used to send her pictures to a man she befriended online and he uploaded it on internet,” said a man who is divorced from his wife.
Apart from virtual relationships, social media feeds narcissistic behaviour and the need to be popular is also creating trouble in the families, according to experts.
