A New October Revolution is in the making. It started when a seemingly docile tweet from actor Alyssa Milano unleashed a social media torrent. "If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote 'Me too' as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem." That opened a Pandora’s Box and out tumbled a million horror stories. Twitter could not take the load, so the narrative quickly spilled over to FB.
The #MeToo movement was triggered when Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein found himself at the centre of a colossal sex scandal. The man who had got away with decades of predatory behaviour was suddenly cornered as dozens of stars including Angelina Jolie, Ashley Judd, Gwyneth Paltrow and Rose McGowan came forward to accuse him.
Lupita Nyongo said, “Though we may have endured powerlessness at the hands of Harvey Weinstein, by speaking up, speaking out and speaking together, we regain that power. And we hopefully ensure that this kind of rampant predatory behavior as an accepted feature of our industry dies here and now.”
As half the world’s population came out to tell the other half how badly they had been treated for generations, men at first responded with silence, disbelief and defensiveness. Donald Trump, the tweet-master, didn’t utter a word about Weinstein. How could he, when his own “grab ‘em by the p....y” tape is still at large? Hillary Clinton told BBC “After all, we have someone admitting to being a sexual assaulter in the Oval Office.” Monica Lewinsky tweeted #metoo.
Anand Siva came with a poser, “I have a question to the women posting this. Have you all been really abused or is this just an expression of solidarity with the real victims?” Susmitha Subbaraju replied, “The fact that you’re even asking this question shows how much the campaign is needed.” Added Stephanie Voltolin, “Sexual aggression against women is very real. Most of us have experienced it multiple times. It’s so pervasive that there are women who don’t even realize it has happened to them.”
#MeToo prompted some men to come forward with their own experiences of sexual assault at the hands of – you guessed it! – men! Many expressed solidarity with the victims. A few like Michael John Simpson were frank, “I own my misogynist past. I #BelieveWomen because I have been THAT guy. #ItWasMe”.
Pushpa Achanta wrote, “#Sexual Assault isn't sexy. Happened to #MeToo #Yes All Men do it.” Antonio Rafael said, #Yesallmen I did this, we did this, we participate in patriarchy, male domination, sexual aggression, harassing, molestation, rape and human trafficking.”
Skeletons were tumbling out by the truckloads. As Judith Squires noted, “Men cover for each other. When I was young, there was a serial rapist and the guys who knew him just joked about it. It was the old boy network at work.”
Christina Hadley warned users of the potential dangers of data aggregation. “Don't feel obligated to participate in current MeToo movement online. As the exploitation of technology advances, associating yourself and your personal information with this type of hashtag ultimately makes it possible for nefarious entities, such as insurance company data aggregators or employment screening companies, to scrape the web for this hashtag, knowing what it suggests, and then flag you as a male or female with a possible trauma history.”
Terance Degnan wrote, “The outpouring of real trauma and sorrow should be met with compassion and a personal commitment to being better humans. #believewomen . Unearthing and admitting trauma is hard. Don't layer that pain with callous and impulsive reactions. Just because most of us are not criminal offenders, doesn't mean we haven't at times reinforced the environment. Hear what millions of women are saying; know that it is hard; respond with compassion.”
J wrote, “My words aren't perfect, and my own path of personal responsibility to those I've harmed isn't perfect, and posting on the internet isn't a perfect way to talk about meaningful and hard stuff but it's happening right now.” E commented, “This is another chapter of you controlling the narrative of what happened and it’s hurtful. You sexually assaulted K...”
A priest from Finland wrote, “I think I have to put both #metoo and #Ihave. I also want to say #Imsorry.” If God could get on to FB would he have written, “I forgive you”?
One woman remarked, “If you're truly sorry, and serious about changing your behavior, hand yourself into the police! Accept *full* responsibility for it!”
Is this the October Revolution that will demolish patriarchy once and for all? You be the judge.
Bollywood, Mollywood et al
Priyanka Chopra unequivocally stated that there are umpteen Weinsteins in Bollywood. Down south in Malluland a woman has been crying herself hoarse for years, “HeToo, HeToo, HeToo.!!” The case cost the State treasury 7 crores and counting. But the predators are still on the prowl.
Mollywood, not wanting to be upstaged by khadi-clad old bandicoots, soon earned global notoriety when a popular star was arrested for hiring a goon sexually assault an actress. This offence, if proved, will become India’s first ‘quotation rape’.
No one in Mollywood climbed onto the #Ihave bandwagon. May be they’re all babes in the woods, who knows? C’mmon guys, let’s not assume they’re all hypocrites!
How can all men be hypocrites anyway? But wait a minute! If every woman on this planet is saying #metoo, then surely all these offences couldn’t have been committed by a handful of males, right?
We the Women
90% of our thoughts are below the surface, dudes. #MeToo is only the tip of the iceberg. We’re busy exchanging lists with the names of all known predators.
Naming and shaming is the new norm. Watch out! We can make or break you.
The same threat you used for centuries to control us, we’re now throwing back at you. What we used to whisper once can now be screamed and streamed worldwide. Me too, me too, me too! You can’t sue everybody, you can’t buy every woman’s silence, you can’t shout above the din. Nobody’s gonna believe you, buddy.
When Ada Lovelace wrote the world’s first computer program in 1842-43, little did she realize what a great service she was doing to womankind. As the techno boom becomes a techno boon and the internet becomes the ultimate enabler, any woman anywhere in the world can call out her oppressors and get instant support.
Guys, the old boys’network can’t protect you as it once did. When the world comes knocking at your door saying ‘et tu Brutus’ what on earth are you gonna do?
So dudes, start now to change your behaviour. Start now to humanize your children. Passivity is participation. Silence is perpetuation. All men are accountable.
The Ugly Side of Male Privilege
Today patriarchy and male privilege are in sharp focus. The subtle subtext of human society has emerged into the glaring searchlights of global scrutiny. Shall we scan the nakedness of the emperor and point out some of his deficiencies?
Firstly, male privilege is all-pervasive, invisible and inherently harmful, not just to women but also to men. It forces boys to live up to impossible macho stereotypes from an early age.
While men fear rejection and humiliation, women fear rape, and life-threatening attacks.
Unmarried women in our country wear wedding rings and mangalsutras when they venture out alone because they know for sure that men often respect the property of another man but rarely respect a woman’s right to her own body. Girls and women tolerate verbal abuse, catcalling and other forms of street harassment for fear that resistance may provoke some other violent onslaught.
Ever heard of a woman throwing acid on a man’s face because he rejected her advances? C’mmon, face it! Men are socialized to feel entitled to women’s bodies and women’s accomplishments. That’s where the trouble starts.
The everyday misogyny that women face has many manifestations: Men using more space, dominating public spaces especially at night time, monopolizing the conversation, ignoring street harassment, rationalizing and condoning aggressive behaviour, and so on.
Street harassment is based on the assumption that all public spaces are really men’s spaces, and that women passing through them are subject to the needs, desires and whims of men.
What about cruelty in long-term relationships? What about coercion and forced sex within marriage, what about domestic violence? What about the psychological manipulation, emotional blackmail and emotional trauma that women are subjected to on an everyday basis? What if new #MeToo campaigns were to emerge?
The hard truth is that all men benefit from patriarchy. They are conditioned to believe that they deserve more than women - more resources, more opportunities, more respect and recognition, more success and more pleasure.
Now women are saying enough is enough. It’s time to level the playing field. And men had better learn to play by the new rules. Or else...!
