Unmasking Superwoman: A Mother’s Honest View on Work-Life Balance
It’s becoming increasingly common to expect women to perfectly balance a career, motherhood, and marriage. But in reality, it is a tightrope walk and often involves difficult choices, particularly between either being a rockstar at work or taking the time to step back and be with family. As I became established in my career there were always compromises to make — when I was crushing it at work, I wasn’t able to put my kid to bed, a routine that I cherish.
As I explored new and exciting career prospects, there were conversations with my husband about what priorities were important to each other and the family, and what success would look like for all involved. These challenging decisions were made more complicated by feelings of guilt that I felt, like many women do, for not meeting society’s expectations at home while feeling additional scrutiny to perform in the workplace.
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that it's okay not to do it all. There's no shame in admitting that some days are hard and that sometimes, the balance tips more towards one side than the other. In my case, I am fortunate to have a supportive husband I can lean on, whose work gives him flexibility to be an active parent. We must also recognise that everyone's balance looks different. What works for one woman may not work for another. However, there are ways that we as a society can help all women get closer to that balance.
First is embracing greater work flexibility and inclusivity. With women still managing most caregiving responsibilities, remote work eliminates the need for long commutes, while asynchronous communication allows for flexibility in managing work and personal responsibilities. Employees can maintain responsibilities while responding to tasks and communications in their own time, allowing for a more balanced lifestyle. Hand-in-hand, with the right tech tools, they are powerful instruments that greatly help working women.
However, it’s also important to acknowledge that simply allowing work from home is not enough. The blending of work and home environments can result in feelings of isolation and burnout, especially for women who already bear significant household and childcare responsibilities. Additionally, the absence of traditional support systems, such as onsite childcare facilities, can intensify feelings of stress and overwhelm. What’s also important is to establish a culture where flexibility is embraced. One way companies can do this is through role models. Our CEO and co-founder, Job van der Voort, recently posted on LinkedIn that he was working remotely while he was at his daughter’s swim class. Seeing a leader in your company be transparent about practices like this empowers caregivers, normalising such behaviour and reducing feelings of shame.
Caregivers no longer have to pretend to be online or come up with an excuse, just to attend to their personal needs. Of course, this only works if leaders genuinely value flexibility and embody inclusivity. Employees can easily spot disconnects between a leader’s words and actions, which leads to cynicism and distrust. It should also not be the case of “rules for thee and not for me”. This means the company’s policies must reflect its values, by providing flexible working hours and comprehensive parental leave across the board.
These are solutions that can greatly help women, in fact, all caregivers to achieve greater harmony between their lives and work. And lastly, for women, we must redefine success in parenthood and career and reclaim it for ourselves. This is an area of growth for me, but I’m confident the journey ahead holds promise. Realising that we can’t always do everything simultaneously all the time is a source of liberation.
Sometimes, you can’t have it all — and that’s okay.
Article written by: Barbara Matthews, Chief People Officer, Remote
