Q&A: This award is special... it is for a film that I lived with for so many years'

Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s films have won National Awards in various categories
before, but this is the first time Mr Bhansali has won the National Award for
Best Director for his magnum opus, Bajirao Mastani. Asira Tarannum spoke to the director.

Congratulations! Who informed you that you have won the National Award for Best Director?

I was taking a bath in the morning when my phone rang. A journalist from a TV channel called to tell me that I have won the National Award and since then my phone kept ringing. It was a strange moment — I was taking a bath, getting the best news of my life and doing interviews in the same state.

You have won National Awards before in various categories. Which one is most special to you?

This one because it is for Best Director. Not that the other awards are not special, but this one is really special and close to my heart. It’s for a film that I lived with for so many years, finally got a chance to make it, and made it with so much strength and yet kept wondering will people like it, will it turn out to be like the way it is in my mind, box-office… and then we finally get the National Award.

I love awards... All awards are a pat on the back. Most come from different institutions but a National Award is a moment of prestige because it’s from the government, nation and people, so it’s very special. Any award that comes I embrace it with all enthusiasm and love for my work. If I don’t get any award, I don’t sulk. It’s very important to enjoy your work without expectations — how much will it make at the box-office or how many awards will it get.

We got seven National Awards this year for the film in various categories. I think it’s a wonderful achievement; it belongs to all of us, to all the people who got to make the film. This was one film that came out beautifully. I got the right people to work — extremely talented people — in every department.

You once told me that you keep on raising the bar higher for yourself. Now, after winning the National Award for Best Director, is there pressure to raise the bar higher in your next film?

There is no pressure. However, now I am sitting in the office and banging my head as to how should I make the next film. There are two-three ideas that I like but, then again, permutations and combinations come. At the end I will pick up a film that my heart tells me to make without any calculations; we need to make the film we believe in. Bajirao… is the hardest movie that I have worked on in
my life. From working for 16 hours on Bajirao… I think in the next movie I will have to work for 18 hours.

Among Black, Devdas and Bajirao Mastani, which film gave you the most creative satisfaction?

I think I enjoyed making Bajirao Mastani immensely. I was in an inspired state, I felt everything was falling into place, it went effortlessly and without any problems. I am a better person, more evolved human being today, so I think I am improving in a lot of departments… I have made a conscious effort to change a few things in me and I think that’s why I am in a better state of mind to make another film.

What are those few things?

I am a little more relaxed in life now. I am not concerned whether I will be able to make it big in life or not. When you come after a long struggle, will you be able to make a film or not are insecurities that keep hounding you. I think that stress made me a difficult person to deal with as people thought I was too intense a person. When it is destined to happen, it will happen. I work hard and I demand much more from people, but I am doing that happily. So being relaxed and happy is one of the most conscious changes I have made. We all have little, little problems that we have to solve and I hope I can continue getting better and better.

What did your mother say when she heard the news?

After spending an hour talking on the phone, when I came out of my room to tell mom that I have won the National Award, I heard her scream, so I ran towards her room. I thought she fell down or something, but I saw her sitting in the mandir and that was the time she got to know that I won the National Award. I asked her what happened, I thought you fell. She said, no, no you won the National Award. She was so excited that she didn’t know what she was doing. She said it was her dream that I win a National Award and that moment was very, very special to her.