Naidu, Stalin say Have more kids But many young couples opt for 1 or no child

In the last two days, chief ministers of two Indian states have exhorted couples to have more children. While Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister N Chandrababu Naidu expressed concern over the ageing population in south India and asked couples to have more kids, Tamil Nadu CM M K Stalin made the statement in the backdrop of decreasing population in Lok Sabha constituencies. Referring to an old Tamil adage, he said, “Why should not we aim for 16 children?” On the other hand, Naidu said that his government is planning to bring in legislation through which only people with more than two children can contest local body elections.

While there has been a push towards having more children due to declining fertility rates and an ageing population, there is a steadily rising demographic known as DINK — Double Income No Kids —which refers to people who do not have children voluntarily. They are referred to as childless couples and have their own reasons for not continuing their bloodline.

Some DISK families, also known as Double Income

Single Kids, are limiting their child count to one due to the rising cost of raising children. Raising children has become an expensive affair in an economy where the father and mother must work to earn a living.

Rise in ADHD and depression among children

C. Manjula Rao, a psychologist, discusses the stressors children encounter in today’s world. “As a psychologist, I am noticing a rise in the number of children diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorders (ASD). The environment can cause these neuro-developmental disorders. Kids with ADHD suffer from hyperactivity, impulsivity, and lack of focus.”

“We are also seeing a rise in childhood depression and anxiety. This is the result of marital discord among parents. They develop complex PTSD because of witnessing fights and micro-aggressions between parents every day. Children react to the trauma in two ways: they either externalise it, where they blame external factors for their pain, or they internalise it, where they blame themselves for what they are facing. This leads to low self-esteem in life later,” she adds.

The rise in marital discord can be attributed to our societal shift towards individualism. “No one wants to compromise on their own needs for family. Our South Asian society, which expects compliance with social norms, does not align with this outlook. Hence, there are frequent clashes between individuals and society,” Rao elaborates.

'Raising a child is expensive, physically draining'

Leena Varma, an IT professional who has a seven-year-old child, says, “We have decided to have only one child because raising a kid is expensive in today’s age. It also drains you physically. Previously, families were non-nuclear, and we could trust our neighbors with our children. The scenario has changed now. I remember growing up with my grandparents. Since many women give birth late in life, children often have limited time with their grandparents. Sometimes, only one grandparent is alive, or they are too old to play with the children. We have to be increasingly dependent on nannies.”

‘The earth has enough humans’

“The primary reason for reproduction is to prevent your species from extinction. Given the large population of Homo sapiens on the planet, we know that humans are not going to be extinct any time soon. My husband and I believe that the earth has enough humans exploiting its resources, and we don’t want to add to the environmental stress.”

She adds, “We also agree that life is becoming stressful for the younger generation. We had discussed this before we got married. Resources are depleting, opportunities are becoming scarce, and every industry is getting more competitive. For newer generations, survival will become more difficult mentally, emotionally, and physically. Hence, we didn’t want to bring an innocent life to such a stressful world and have it suffer over time.”

- Soumya Mukherjee, a learning designer who designs courses, curriculums

There must be a balance

I have one child, but I am aware that many people are choosing not to marry or have children, either because it’s too late or they’re unsure. I can understand why, and it makes sense, but we also need to consider the other side of the coin, where some populations are choosing to continue growing and having more children. Bringing that balance is essential for the political environment and overall future of the country. I believe that individuals should refrain from having children if they lack the time and resources to provide them with adequate physical and emotional support. However, if everyone adopts this lifestyle, which is unfortunately becoming the norm, it will lead to a decrease in the number of children in the future. I think we need to look at what kind of life we should live and what we can leave behind for future generations. Is it just long hours of work and money? Is that what drives our need to procreate?

— Anjali Rudraraju, cofounder, Yarroway Farm - Organic Farming & Lifestyle

A world without children

“We feel that the government should not decide what individuals should do or not do. It’s totally their decision. Even for couples with two incomes, the unpredictable nature of the economy and market in the future remains a constant concern. Given the current inflation rate and rapidly rising daily expenses, it is difficult to predict the future, which is why we believe couples are choosing not to have children. Another reason we believe couples are not opting to have children is the chaotic and unorganised nature of hospitals and the medical industry. It is a very risky environment to bring in a child, and therefore, people now decide to not have kids.

Another aspect is that as a couple, we all want to enjoy our lives. If we have a child, let’s say in the age range of 25 to 30 years, we must devote the next 10 years entirely to them.”

— Devansh Kamboj and Maggi—Digital Content Creator Duo

Having a child is a luxury

With increasing living expenses and aspirations, it has become very difficult to even think of taking up such a huge responsibility.

In the current socio-political scenario and the inhumane crimes we hear about every day, the fear of protecting your children can be debilitating.

Naturally, one cannot always be present with their child, and despite every parent’s best efforts, accidents still occur. Therefore, facing this looming fear for the rest of our lives is a challenge that many couples are not prepared for. The most important thing is that the child doesn’t owe you anything, but we owe everything to our kids.

— Nitin Goyal and Soumya Pathak—Digital Content Creator Duo