All of us at some point in our lives have felt low, but if you are constantly being bogged down by self-doubt, feeling incompetent irrespective of past achievements, then you could be suffering from Imposter Syndrome. And act before it’s too late.
Imposter Syndrome can turn into a vicious psychological pattern in which individuals unabashedly doubt their many accomplishments in life. They run an uncanny yet evident cycle of attributing their success to mere luck or other external factors, discrediting any of their efforts or abilities.
People with Imposter Syndrome often believe that their success is unearned and hence, they don’t deserve it. As per studies, this seemed to be prevalent more in high-achieving women. With time, research has shown that this has come to affect people of all genders and backgrounds irrespective of any markers. “Imposter Syndrome is the persistent belief that your success is undeserved and that you are on the brink of being exposed as some fraudulent figure,” says Dr Aman Bhonsle, Relationship Counsellor, Psychotherapist & Mindset Coach. He explained that a feeling like this is often a lingering one.
“It is like a mental tug of war that constantly takes place within you, with you then having a constant need to seek validation,” Dr Aman says. Individuals with such a syndrome also completely discard the fact that it is their acumen or legwork that has led them to be where they are today.
This constant pushing and punching to self could also have a variety of underlying reasons. Dr Aman also explains that the chief triggers of Imposter Syndrome usually are a combination of many things that go unnoticed. “Individuals who have grown up with parents being high-achievers or perhaps with parents who have been extremely critical about them may somewhere push themselves to prove a certain point,” Dr Aman says.
Another reason could also be that as a child, an individual was constantly praised and made to feel that they were the best at something which has now resulted in them setting unrealistic bubbles of expectations in their mind.
Imposter Victims
Young adults are the most susceptible as they are getting their first jobs, trying to crack exams, impress their partners and so much more. However, even those in the middle of their career may experience such episodes regularly, including high-achievers who may want to visit newer heights each time.
Sometimes, people also set unrealistically high standards of performance for themselves and often feel that they constantly must prove rather than ‘maintain’ their worth. The Imposter Syndrome could affect women, gender minorities or marginalized groups hard. All of them have the innate need to prove themselves, especially in environments where they are minorities.
All Captive Force
What’s imperative to understand here is that many times such individuals get trapped within the confines of their minds. The fear of being ‘exposed’ makes people feel vulnerable and feel like a liar, or a loser, thereby even making them live with either guilt or anxiety that eventually acts as a barrier to taking leaps into other ventures and possibilities.
Adding to this captive force are those who tend to fall under the ambit of being a ‘perfectionist’. Dr Aman says here, “A perfectionist is someone who has zero tolerance for failure,”, implying that such individuals without an iota of doubt fit the bill!
They tend to set high standards of performance, focusing more on their flaws rather than their achievements. They are so terrified of making mistakes that they constantly live in an atmosphere of chronic stress and work burnout.
This relentless drive for perfection leads to burnout and some may take to certain vices such as drinking, smoking, drug abuse, food addiction, online shopping, and pornography to name a few. Dr Aman says, “But a perfectionist will always feel unworthy no matter how good they are at something because their accomplishments are not as good as they have it in their minds and yet feel lacking back on something.”
Ways To Cope
Imposter Syndrome could be taxing for individuals who suffer from it. There are ways out. One needs to recognize and acknowledge being a victim of the Imposter Syndrome.
The person needs to reframe the way he or she thinks. One need not always be the best in all they do. It’s always good to journal or write down the many achievements you have in your name. In moments of doubt, revisiting such things could help.
Dr Aman confidently says, “It would help immensely if we shift our focus to learning, growing and improving in small ways and not big leaps and accept mistakes as part of growth, rather than a precursor towards growth.”
Beat Imposter Syndrome
Some tips to tackle imposter syndrome
1. Stop comparing yourself
2. Your journey is unique to you: Accept it
3. Celebrate your wins
4. Open up yourself to someone you trust
5. Small achievements too matter: Celebrate them
6. Don’t wait for confidence to hit you, take a leap of faith & enjoy the process rather than the outcome!
Imposter Syndrome is the persistent belief that your success is undeserved and that you are at the brink of being exposed as some fraudulent figure.” — Dr Aman Bhonsle, Relationship Counsellor, Psychotherapist & Mindset Coach
