We live in an age that is all about self-promotion where chinks in the armour, issues and personal problems have no place. They take away the shimmer and shine you are meant to present to the world, always putting your best foot forward and looking your absolute best all the time. And what is the result of pretending to be happy while suppressing angst? After all, one cannot be happy and look good all the time. Mood swings, panic attacks, anxiety and real world chinks show up only with one’s near and dear ones and can impact personal relationships adversely.
It has been my experience that speaking to a detached friend when feeling generally disgruntled is better than speaking to your family. Family is perhaps too involved emotionally and a friend may give you some impassionate advice. This does not mean that you do not communicate with those close to you — your partner may be more understanding of your state of mind if you share it with them too.
Whatever it takes, it is important to stay cheerful and positive, and not allow mood swings and panic attacks to dismantle a relationship. Your partner or spouse may not be able to handle your mood disorders long term. The most important impact of mood swings and anxiety is that you become excessively vulnerable and raw within a relationship. It is very important to communicate your feelings. Your vulnerability leaves you open to needless hurt and can lead to a vicious cycle of hurt, reaction, anxiety and panic.
What does one do to counteract this tendency? Meditation, talking to a concerned friend, exercise and meeting a good counsellor are the keys. It is important to remember that to address the situation is vital rather than expecting it to disappear on its own. There is no point brushing it under the carpet hoping that you can deal with it later. There is no later. You could lose a lot of relationships if you keep waiting for a miracle.
Dealing with something like this poses a great challenge to any relationship, straining it and causing your partner to be confused and overwhelmed. Mood swings and anxiety even impact intimacy because you become tightly wound and are unable to let go and relax. You will never be good company if you spend most of your time being anxious about every aspect of your life going wrong.
More often than not, like any other wound, the tension, anxiety, hurt and vulnerability in your heart heals with care, love, space, exercise, positive thoughts and an attitude of gratitude. A hug and physical reassurance is a great way to heal too. Successful couples always hug after work or at the end of the day. Keeping oneself mentally occupied is also important. If you are not employed with work, do a course, learn a language — do anything that can take your mind off minor issues. Different methods may work for different people, but what is important is to work it out for yourself and improve your own quality of life.
The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamv-wal@gmail.com Tweet to her at @nishjamvwal
