Overcoming the midlife crisis

When middle aged people suddenly do things like buy an expensive car, or have an affair, or have cosmetic surgery done which they wouldn’t normally do, family and friends term it a midlife crisis.

As a psychologist, I wouldn’t call it a crisis as such; it is just a difficult phase in one’s life and the crisis really depends on the personality of the individual and how they deal with it. For those who are optimistic and happy, this could be a transition phase and a period of tremendous growth and realisation.
There is no particular age when it can be categorically stated that a midlife crisis will happen. But there is an age range during which it can strike — between the ages of 37 through 50, according to experts. The timing of midlife crisis tends to coincide with a significant event in one’s life, like one’s 50th birthday or when a son or daughter finishes college!

A man may react by buying expensive toys and justifies it by saying he has worked very hard all his life and that he deserves it. While the woman at this stage in her life wants appreciation for all that she has done as a wife and mother. Men are more keen on proving something to the world by wanting to look successful, while women want to prove that they have done a good job taking care of their husband and bringing up the kids well.

The midlife crisis can also trigger some people (regardless of gender) to turn towards religion. Clinging on to some new faith and following the traditions of that religion takes precedence in their lives. Some people pursue hobbies which they couldn’t pursue in their younger, busier years of work life. Some people even go back to school to do a course which they always wanted to but couldn’t as it wasn’t practical for their future career. Others go to the extent of fulfilling their dream of wanting to travel around the world and discover places and experiences.

A midlife crisis can be enjoyable to some, traumatic for the others depending to a large extent on the kind of person one is. Not everyone goes through midlife crisis smoothly. There are people who have become so severely depressed that they have attempted suicide to end their misery. Feeling worthless, hopeless, sad, bored, having a lack of appetite, sleep disorders, feelings of anxiousness, guilt, no interest in anything are symptoms which need to be taken seriously. Talking to a professional can help people cope better. If the  symptoms are severe, medication like anti-depressants, mood stabilisers along with therapy will help them get a grip on their lives and learn to go through this phase in a more calm and collected manner.

“Sometimes you need a little crisis to get your adrenaline flowing and help you realise your potential” — Jeannette Walls.