Follow the witness technique

A funny thing happened recently when we were driving through a hamlet in the South. We braked and honked at one point as there was a goat sunning itself right in the middle of the narrow road, whereupon a dog belonging to the same family came charging at us and chased the car furiously for a good distance till it ran out of steam. Now if only the dog had given some thought, it would have realised that we meant no harm and in fact, only wanted to gently urge the goat to make way. It could have also saved itself a lot of energy.

Replace the dog and goat with human beings and you will find that often we find ourselves in similar situations. We yell back because someone has yelled at us, we overreact because a friend has displayed some jealousy or has not acknowledged us, we succumb to mob mentality without stopping to think what the problem is all about and what we can do to correct the situation. If only we delve further, we will realise that people are acting the way they do because of certain drivers perhaps a strong sense of ego, insecurity or fear, or simply because they are not balanced. Or maybe they have had a rough day.

When we are at the receiving end in a crossfire, one of the first things to do is to adopt an attitude of ‘sakshi bhav’, i.e., the attitude of a witness who is simply a bystander and not get drawn into the altercation. Once that is done, any outburst angry or vicious will just peter out and better sense will dawn on the person while you, the witness, would not have escalated the tension. Remember calmness is our true nature.

The next thing to do is to study the deeper undercurrents beneath a certain kind of behaviour or reaction. Once we know where it is all coming from, we get a better perspective and understanding.

There is always a lot happening at the surface which is very transient. A look beyond is what gives us true insight and enables a more intelligent response. This is true when we are responding to negative emotions. All our scriptures tell us that emotions like anger, envy, jealousy, lust and ego are our enemies. They come in the way of self realisation and damage relationships. The wisest thing to do when there is negativity in the air is not to add to it. Responding from a position of love or if that is difficult, non hate or neutrality, will also serve a larger purpose. You might even be amused once you get to the bottom of things.

The writer is a Reiki channel, yoga practitioner and a spiritual seeker. Mail her at selfdecoder@gmail.com