Unlocking The Emotional Bank

Women have always complained about men not being expressive enough. About men curbing their feelings and locking away their emotions. But with time there has been a significant change to the stereotypical male image with more and more men being open about their feelings. “Men have a no holds barred approach to their first relationship. They are eager to open up, talk about their past and share their secrets. But both women and men are on their guard as they move onto new relationships. Men become more careful about not baring their soul to their partners, at least not until a significant period has passed,” says Dinu Jose, a banker from Kochi.

Men are also very wary of expectations and their image. They think they will be seen as weak if they express themselves, so they prefer to be less conversational, thus giving a strong ‘manly’ vibe. Man’s stereotypical image is a strong, calm and collected image. Men prefer to hide their vulnerability behind that image. The change in man’s attitude in recent times towards women stems from the fact that women prefer the not so ‘manly’ men. They prefer someone they can share their emotions with, rather than having a one-way conversation with no appropriate responses.

Actor Vivan Bathena says the change in men is for the better, “Communication is very important to keep a relationship alive. Especially how, when people get in and out of relationships so easily. Men have to take the initiative to reassure their partner all the time and the rest will fall into place. I wouldn’t classify men opening up as a sign of vulnerability, but that of emotional maturity.”

But he also argues that only women know what they really want. “They like macho men and bad boys but at the same time they expect a man to be caring and emotional. In fact, their expectations keep changing, based on their needs.”

Actor Raai Laxmi says, “Men have the capacity to control their emotions. Women on the other hand have different moods. They are emotional, sensitive and stupid even. They take everything to heart. Men are trying to change. Men have matured more and do express more these days.” 

“When it comes to expressing love I think we, women, are more open. We say it when we feel it. Men on the other hand, even if they feel that way, they’ll think a thousand times before expressing their love. That leads to a misunderstanding even before the relationship has started,” she adds.