Crushing on his or her parent?

Don’t compare
A crush is a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable. That’s what makes it exciting and often that’s what makes it fizzle off quickly too. Having a crush on your partner’s parent is not out of the ordinary. There’s really very little control one has over how he/she feels about a person and the attraction need not be a physical one. You may just like certain attributes of the parent that are either more pronounced than your partner’s or completely missing in the partner. But that’s what makes them two different people and expecting either your partner to measure up or rueing the absence of that trait in your girlfriend/boyfriend is going to serve nobody well. Comparisons, particularly within the family, must be avoided at all costs. Never ever say something like “You’re not as hot as your mum”, or “Why didn’t you get your dad’s baritone?” It never ends well.

Handle jealousy
You may have decided to tell your significant other that your heart skips a beat for his/her father or mother. But bear in mind that even the most understanding of partners find that a rather awkward conversation to have. There’s a good chance they feel a bit short-changed in the gene pool for not inheriting some of that awesomeness. This may bring out a jealous side to the otherwise indifferent and rather nonchalant demeanour your partner has. It’s very normal to feel that way and it is imperative that you’re sensitive to it. If you sense that your partner is uncomfortable with you spending time with his/her mum or dad, no matter how harmless that conversation is, your responsibility lies with keeping your partner’s self-esteem intact. Even if it means making a conscious effort to cut down on time spent with the parents, do so. The ensuing headache is not worth it.

Silence?
After ascertaining the situation and weighing the possible outcome of telling your partner that you have a crush on his/her parent, your infinite wisdom might dictate you to stay mum instead. If you’re not sure how this info will be received, then silence may just be a good option. Unless you’re going to act on your emotions The Graduate style, it makes sense to just not complicate matters until you absolutely feel the honesty is required. If your harmless crush has the potential to mess with your girlfriend or boyfriend’s head, silence might be your only choice.

Behave
Don’t even try to seduce the parent like you would if you had a crush on anyone else. Dressing to the nines for a crush is one thing, but being provocative with a crush who happens to be the parent of the person you’re dating can be detrimental to your existing relationship, not to mention twistedly perverse. Crushes are cute until you give them an R-rated approach. Then you lose your partner and the crush!