Whose job is it anyway to control cranky children ?

You are at a restaurant with your family, enjoying a conversation. As your food arrives, the kid at the next table starts crying and yelling. We have all faced this situation, but diners at the crowded Marcy’s Diner in Portland, Maine, had a different experience. When diners Tara and John Carson’s 21-month-old daughter Keira started crying and wouldn’t stop even after 40 minutes, the diner’s owner, Darla Neugebauer yelled at the child. Keira stopped crying, so many diners silently supported Neugebauer’s act. Later, the adult’s disciplinarian behaviour was criticised by many netizens.

While this may have caused a furore in Maine, such situations are common in our  country. Parents, especially while dining out, let the children run around the place and create a ruckus. Sometimes, it is left to the stewards to babysit the unruly children. Etiquette expert Kamla Ravikumar said she is against taking children (under eight) to a restaurant. “Parents don’t seem to care about the way their children behave in public. For  others in the restaurant who are there for a quiet evening, this ruckus created by children is irritating. When I face a situation like this, I immediately call the manager and tell them to ask the parent to control the child,” she said.

Dr. Mini Rao, psychologist and mother-of-two, said she is appalled by some parents’ behaviour. “First of all, I don’t think one should take such a young child out. That is such a tricky age, when babies have many needs. And with respect to Marcy’s Diner incident I am appalled that the mother did not try to distract the child! They were disturbing other diners. And I don’t believe in yelling at children. It leads to long-term repercussions such as low self-esteem,” she said.

Despite the silent support pouring in for Neugebauer, several parents feel that yelling at a child was uncalled for. Preeti Vikram, who is currently pursuing her MDS and is a mother of a six-month-old says, “I don’t think it is right to yell at children in public. You can explain it to them privately. But I also think that parents shouldn’t let their kids cry for a long time in public. If a child is crying continuously, parents should first find out what the problem is and if they can’t stop it, leave the place,” she added.

Relationship expert Dr. Rajesh Menon pointed out that yelling at such a small child was of no use. “When you yell at a child, you only scare them. In this case, the child wouldn’t understand — you don’t get anything from yelling. I think the onus is on parents to be responsible for their children — ensure that the diner has a play area with a responsible staff, so the children are occupied,” he pointed out.

Gallerist Preeti Garg rued that children these days are very sensitive. “I have an 18-year old son and the way (and tone in which) I talk to him is important. Children are over-sensitive these days. In such a scenario, yelling at them may not be the right thing to do. And, one cannot scream at somebody’s child. Even parents don’t scream at their own children. But I think that parents should discipline their child and ensure that they don’t create an inconvenience at public spaces. On a flight, it is fine, as you cannot do anything about it. But if it happens in a restaurant, I get irritated,” she rued.

Excerpts from Darla’s post

When the parents of the kid were appalled at her shouting at their kid and they asked her in an angry tone, “Did you just yell at a child?”, she replied back, “Yup! Sure did! Shut her up too! Why is it ok for that kid to disrupt the experience of 75 people when mommy or daddy could have taken it outside? Good parents do that. Good parenting makes great kids.

Good luck lady with that monster! The fact is MY DINER....MY RULES The only thing I am sorry for is that child has to grow up with such terrible parents I have a lot of great kids that eat here.....sometimes they do have a bad day & mom or dad takes them outside no one enjoys dining with screaming of any kind.....and after 40 min of her, 2 minutes of me..peace was restored! As far as I am concerned. ..Won & done!”