Nisha Jamwal | Can’t judge a person on the first meet

Don’t let your first impression of someone be your last impression, or you could lose out on a beautiful relationship

First impressions are not always accurate. They seem to inveigle themselves to being known as ‘last impressions’ but I have learnt that such opinions don’t always measure up in the long run.

And no period in my life has shown me this truth as has this of the COVID-19. With more leisure afforded to me, I’ve found myself interacting with new people whom I had found mildly surly or vacuous at first.

On getting to know them better, I confess, I was a little embarrassed to admit that my first impression of them had been way off the mark. The words I had used in my mind to describe them to myself now sounded judgmental, making me cringe even.

I’ve finally woken up to the fact that some may just be reticent, taking time to open up to another, and in the midst of their opening up, could even have misleading facial expressions that contrast their geniality.

And just as we don’t like to be ‘judged’ in our first shot, isn’t it wise then to allow for some interactions before forming an opinion about others too? So while first impressions may be ‘lasting,’ they may also be very limiting to the growth of rewarding friendships.

Over the years, I’ve learnt that camaraderie is invaluable — more precious than material possessions — and when we lose them we lose a life experience that even can change the complexities of our existence.

But hey! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should push yourself into knowing someone when your instincts are throwing red flags at you. What I am saying is that it takes more than a social brush with someone to really gauge whether you want to take that person into your life and share with her/him your experiences.

Seeing in another what’s inside you
The art of forming impressions also means that you don’t base your outlook about another upon hearsay because others’ perceptions are also often inaccurate and based upon their own personal chemistry with another.

Then there are those who try to brainwash you into seeing things in a way to suit their insidious purposes.

That is also why it’s better to let your impressions of a person form as you grow more familiar with them and their life situations and outlooks.

It is also wise to not allow your moods and feelings to colour your opinion of someone because what we perceive about the world is usually a reflection of what we are inside.
So if you feel the world is full of people with an agenda, perhaps you need to have a long hard look at yourself before judging the rest of the world.

Take time to introspect and understand about yourself so you can face the insecurities and angst within. That one exercise might even help you become appreciative of the good qualities in others around you and bring to you more people you love and admire.

So the next you meet someone new, give credence to how you feel being around that person. If just being around that person puts you off, take the cue and move on, and away!

But if your feelings are not that intense, give it some time and maybe a few more meetings before you form your impression about that person — before you can put your thoughts in semblance of what view to hold about that person.

Because just as there are some people who are great at making one hell of a first impression, which we later realise was all superficial play-acting, there others too, sometimes reticent or even ‘loud’ and ‘tacky,’ but those who’d be willing to go that extra mile for you.