Failure is hard
They say it is lonely at the top, but the way down is even lonelier. Not being successful, especially in showbiz makes people miserable
It was the early 2000s. Youthful romantic comedies were enjoying their moment in the sun. A young, handsome and charming Imran Khan was at the top of his game with a string of hits, Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na (2008), I Hate Luv Storys (2010), Delhi Belly (2011) and a large coterie of fans. In 2015, when his last film (Katti Batti) sank without a trace, he vanished from the silver screen and eventually from the minds of the audience. That is, until re-emerging a few weeks ago with a heartfelt post on Instagram.
Sharing a picture of himself dousing himself in water while fully clothed, the actor wrote: “Sorry about the silence... when you’ve lived so long in darkness, the sunshine can feel unbearably bright at first. I’ve been flooded with so many messages of love, support, and encouragement that it felt weird. Unnatural. I couldn’t absorb that much positivity, so instead I went looking for the ugly words, the hurtful ones that sound more like the Voice in my head, because that feels more familiar to me…”
The rest of his post was a positive message crediting his fans with helping him feel accepted again, but it was his reference to years of anguish that stood out. Why did this successful man with a bright future in a highly competitive industry feel so miserable for so long? Failure in any field can be tough to accept but people in showbusiness seem haunted by it at a deeper level.
Constant Scrutiny
“Actors and famous individuals often grapple with heightened susceptibility to negative self-assessment due to the unique pressures and expectations that accompany their celebrity status,” says Archana Singhal, certified counsellor and family therapist, and member of the National Psychological Wellbeing Council and the Counsellor Council of India. She adds, “A significant factor is the constant public scrutiny they endure. Their lives are lived under a magnifying glass, with the media and the public dissecting their every move, appearance, and decision. This perpetual evaluation can lead to an acute awareness of perceived flaws and imperfections, fostering negative self-assessment.”
Economic expert and founder of consulting firm Sapient Econ, Saattvic, aspired to be an actor in Bollywood a decade ago. He had the necessary laurels to succeed. His grandfather had been a successful actor and his parents were keen thespians. Saattvic too made a name for himself as a talent to watch for on the hallowed stage of the Shakespeare Society in St. Stephen’s College, Delhi followed by noteworthy performances in the Capital’s theatre circuit. Yet, Bollywood turned out to be a different ball game. After years of struggle and stints in a TV show called Everest and the 2015 film Badmaashiyan, he decided to quit and turn toward his other love – economics.
Fame & Fortune
He says with candour, “For famous actors, their fortune, money and self-worth depend on how their next film does. It’s so fickle.
One day they can be multimillionaires coasting high, but a couple of bad films and they are gone, no one remembers them anymore. Fame and fortune are fickle, transient. Also, there is no objective yardstick to measure how good or bad an actor you are. Everything depends on what the guy in power thinks, so things can be snatched away from you very quickly. As a result, you are constantly watching yourself, constantly worried about your image, keeping track of media publicity etc. People are very depressed in this industry.”
Having observed it up close, Saattvic concluded that you need to either be born into the industry, have lots of your own money to fund your work, or have extremely questionable morals and skills to manipulate people to get what you want out of them at a scale that was unfathomable. Sadly, this was the case even for those who had tasted success, ensuring the stakes always remained high.
The Fear Factor
Dr Niharika Saini, a clinical psychologist at Accord Super Speciality Hospital in Faridabad highlights certain triggers that affect celebrities more than others. The fear of inadequacy, uncertainty, failure, rejection, missing out, change, losing control, being judged, something bad happening, and getting hurt are exacerbated when people are in positions of being venerated by others. They have an acute awareness of the fact that it could all go away in the blink of an eye. Whether it’s international stars like actor and singer Selena Gomez, Olympian Michael Phelps, British royal Prince Harry, supermodel Kendall Jenner or Indian stars like Deepika Padukone and Anushka Sharma, anxiety and depression have been a scourge that many have battled with. The only way out seems to be acknowledging and then working through one’s feelings. Hence, Singhal advises, “Embrace self-compassion and kindness. Your self-worth doesn’t depend on self-critique. It thrives in self-acceptance and growth.”
It was the early 2000s. Youthful romantic comedies were enjoying their moment in the sun. A young, handsome and charming Imran Khan was at the top of his game with a string of hits, Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na (2008), I Hate Luv Storys (2010), Delhi Belly (2011) and a large coterie of fans. In 2015, when his last film (Katti Batti) sank without a trace, he vanished from the silver screen and eventually from the minds of the audience. That is, until re-emerging a few weeks ago with a heartfelt post on Instagram.
Sharing a picture of himself dousing himself in water while fully clothed, the actor wrote: “Sorry about the silence... when you’ve lived so long in darkness, the sunshine can feel unbearably bright at first. I’ve been flooded with so many messages of love, support, and encouragement that it felt weird. Unnatural. I couldn’t absorb that much positivity, so instead I went looking for the ugly words, the hurtful ones that sound more like the Voice in my head, because that feels more familiar to me…”
The rest of his post was a positive message crediting his fans with helping him feel accepted again, but it was his reference to years of anguish that stood out. Why did this successful man with a bright future in a highly competitive industry feel so miserable for so long? Failure in any field can be tough to accept but people in showbusiness seem haunted by it at a deeper level.
Constant Scrutiny
“Actors and famous individuals often grapple with heightened susceptibility to negative self-assessment due to the unique pressures and expectations that accompany their celebrity status,” says Archana Singhal, certified counsellor and family therapist, and member of the National Psychological Wellbeing Council and the Counsellor Council of India. She adds, “A significant factor is the constant public scrutiny they endure. Their lives are lived under a magnifying glass, with the media and the public dissecting their every move, appearance, and decision. This perpetual evaluation can lead to an acute awareness of perceived flaws and imperfections, fostering negative self-assessment.”
Economic expert and founder of consulting firm Sapient Econ, Saattvic, aspired to be an actor in Bollywood a decade ago. He had the necessary laurels to succeed. His grandfather had been a successful actor and his parents were keen thespians. Saattvic too made a name for himself as a talent to watch for on the hallowed stage of the Shakespeare Society in St. Stephen’s College, Delhi followed by noteworthy performances in the Capital’s theatre circuit. Yet, Bollywood turned out to be a different ball game. After years of struggle and stints in a TV show called Everest and the 2015 film Badmaashiyan, he decided to quit and turn toward his other love – economics.
Fame & Fortune
He says with candour, “For famous actors, their fortune, money and self-worth depend on how their next film does. It’s so fickle.
One day they can be multimillionaires coasting high, but a couple of bad films and they are gone, no one remembers them anymore. Fame and fortune are fickle, transient. Also, there is no objective yardstick to measure how good or bad an actor you are. Everything depends on what the guy in power thinks, so things can be snatched away from you very quickly. As a result, you are constantly watching yourself, constantly worried about your image, keeping track of media publicity etc. People are very depressed in this industry.”
Having observed it up close, Saattvic concluded that you need to either be born into the industry, have lots of your own money to fund your work, or have extremely questionable morals and skills to manipulate people to get what you want out of them at a scale that was unfathomable. Sadly, this was the case even for those who had tasted success, ensuring the stakes always remained high.
The Fear Factor
Dr Niharika Saini, a clinical psychologist at Accord Super Speciality Hospital in Faridabad highlights certain triggers that affect celebrities more than others. The fear of inadequacy, uncertainty, failure, rejection, missing out, change, losing control, being judged, something bad happening, and getting hurt are exacerbated when people are in positions of being venerated by others. They have an acute awareness of the fact that it could all go away in the blink of an eye. Whether it’s international stars like actor and singer Selena Gomez, Olympian Michael Phelps, British royal Prince Harry, supermodel Kendall Jenner or Indian stars like Deepika Padukone and Anushka Sharma, anxiety and depression have been a scourge that many have battled with. The only way out seems to be acknowledging and then working through one’s feelings. Hence, Singhal advises, “Embrace self-compassion and kindness. Your self-worth doesn’t depend on self-critique. It thrives in self-acceptance and growth.”
A significant factor is the constant public scrutiny they endure. Their lives are lived under a magnifying glass, with the media and the public dissecting their every move, appearance, and decision. This perpetual evaluation can lead to an acute awareness of perceived flaws and imperfections, fostering negative self-assessment.” — archana singhal, certified counsellor and family therapist.
Many celebs have talked about how it was a tough phase when they faced failure.
Abhishek Bachchan said in many interviews how filmmakers would refuse to take his calls, and he didn’t take it personally because end of the day it’s business.
Imran Khan, just vanished from the scene after his films repeatedly flopped. He’s back now with a new film in the offing.
Several celebrities, both national and international like actor-cum-singer Selena Gomez, Olympian Michael Phelps, J.K. Rowling, British royal Prince Harry, Bruce Springsteen, supermodel Kendall Jenner, Deepika Padukone and Anushka Sharma have openly discussed their struggles with anxiety and depression.