Beware of winter coating this season

Just when you thought your relationship was done and dusted, a harmless birthday message or an unexpected greeting on a weekend pops up on your phone from your ex. Although, you may or may not choose to respond, if you read between the lines, it could be a potential trap for “winter coating” aka “cuffing” season. The dating term “winter coating” indicates the return of a former lover, who tries to get in contact with the hopes of cosying up in winter just to dump you when spring arrives. As the holiday and travel season sets in, this is one toxic dating trend that you need to watch out for without falling for the bare minimum efforts from your ex.

Short and not-so-sweet

If you have been ghosted before, and the person magically re-appears on the onset of winter asking you to “chill” or “re-kindle the flame”, it could be one of the signs of winter coating. In the recent Netflix movie Kho Gaye Hum Kahan, one of the lead characters played by Ananya Panday goes through the same with her ex-boyfriend played by Rohan Gurbaxani. The relatable storyline strikes a chord with many youngsters, who feel abandoned by sudden ghosting. YouTuber Pamela Mukherjee, who discussed a similar incident on her podcast, mentions, “When my ex-boyfriend broke up all of sudden and left me without any explanation it was too painful. And, after a couple of months he wanted to “get close” again in January so we could spend Valentine’s Day together. I had moved on by then so it did not affect me, but, commonly, guys and girls feel alone during the holidays. It’s hard to get dates when everyone is busy partying and spending time, so most people feel it’s safe to go back to their ex-partners and wouldn’t take much effort to convince them.”

This seasonal dating trend, akin to the migration of birds, sees singles seeking companionship and warmth during the colder months without any long-term desire for a committed relationship. The term “cuffing” implies “tying oneself down” with a romantic partner to spend time in cold winter months without feeling left out. According to relationship coach Jeevan S, “Although, winter coating may seem like a whimsical trend, there’s a psychological and biological basis behind it. The cold weather can trigger an instinct for companionship. The desire for warmth, both physical and emotional, drives individuals to seek out relationships, transforming the dating scene into a winter wonderland of cuddles and romance. The emphasis is on indoor activities and shared cosiness. From movie marathons and cooking together to simply enjoying each other’s company under a warm blanket, cuffing season encourages intimacy and connection.”

Navigating safe

Everyone loves a winter romance but if it doesn’t end up in an enduring relationship, it’s safer to part ways amicably. Karima Ben Abdelmalek, CEO of the dating app Happn, shares some expert tips on dealing with winter coating. The expert recommends, “Cuffing season or winter coating is a tricky time for singles as they get tempted to reconnect with ex-lovers. We advise our users to prioritise self-worth over seasonal flings. It’s about knowing the difference between nostalgia and genuine connection. Concentrate on cultivating connections that appreciate you completely rather than just a passing seasonal interaction. To avoid winter coating, singles should pay attention to honest conversations, shared goals, and genuine efforts invested in sustaining a connection. Red flags might appear in inconsistent behaviour, reluctance to commit beyond the season, or an unwillingness to engage beyond surface-level interactions. To gracefully avoid such situations, it’s essential to set clear boundaries and, through firm communication, align intentions and expectations with what you truly seek.”

Handling the social pressure

In the age of social media, cuffing season isn’t confined to personal interactions. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok witness an influx of #wintercoating posts, showcasing adorable couples in snug sweaters, sipping hot cocoa, and enjoying winter festivities. Blogger Apurva Saxena remarks, “The trend is not new as many singles actively seek their winter partner to go for family functions and parties. They want to flaunt their plus one during the holiday season, and an ex-partner is the easiest person to approach when there’s hardly any time for finding new love. The best way to avoid the same mistake is to block them from returning, and not fall for the same mind games.”