Peaceful coexistence

When it comes to friends and siblings, Love and warmth are often intertwined with layers of competitiveness. But envy and jealousy can bring out the absolute worst in us if they grow deeper roots

The popular award-winning television sitcom The Crown shows several interesting vignettes of Queen Elizabeth’s caring yet competitive and sometimes jealous relationship with her glamorous sister Princess Margaret. They love each other dearly but the Queen is often afraid of being upstaged by her sister and admits grudgingly, at least in the televised series, to Prince Philip that she is not happy that Princess Margaret is not botching the job as the acting Queen. Elizabeth is unhappy when the newspapers report that Margaret is “dazzling in the role of the Queen” while standing in for Elizabeth while she’s away on a Commonwealth tour. Here, you will see how love and warmth are intertwined with envy and jealousy between siblings.

Even in friendships, this love intertwined with layers of competitiveness and shades of envy and jealousy play a huge part.

On one hand, you desire companionship and love from your sister or friend but sometimes you may also develop feelings of resentment whenever they try to “steal the show” or do better than you.

One of the smartest things to do here, is to never compare. Know your own strengths and counsel yourself that there are unique strengths in all of us. Comparisons never work. You could even lose the bond with your siblings and friends. Relationships are delicate as most of the time people hold on to resentments.

It is smart to realise it sooner than later that there are different core competency areas within each of us and we have to rejoice in our own and celebrate those of our friends and siblings.

Always remember that they are an important part of our lives, they help you grow and also help you whenever you need them.  Making a friend feel cared for is an integral part of your own success as it helps you grow your own personality.

If you have begun to feel competitive with a sibling or a friend, distance yourself for a while, it works for me. Follow this act up with some introspection and try to find out the cause. Work on yourself and find different occupations that make you feel more valued. Try not to push yourself into spaces where you will feel less loved or insecure.

With siblings, especially younger ones, parents need to nip the bud of negative competitiveness. They must inculcate values of caring and sharing and peaceful co-existence among siblings.

The bottom line is to appreciate and value each other’s triumphs above any form of weaknesses and to nurture one another with love and care.  

— The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com