At First Sight?

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking towards me and realised that somehow, the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” — Cassandra Clare

Pluto, the observer of human life and raconteur in Dil Dhadakne Do, looks on as Kabir’s eyes find Farah swimming across the pool. She glances back and it’s a long, enduring moment as their eyes lock in a riveting awareness of each other. The dog muses, “Yeh pehli nazar mein pyar hota kya hai?” I have a slightly different question: Does love at first sight exist at all? Is it substantial or just transient, lusty chemistry at work?

Maybe I am a romantic at heart, but I do believe that there is something powerful, intense and magical that can instantly create a magnetic connection with someone you have never seen before in your life — colpo di fulmine or the thunderbolt, as the Italians call it. They say that it’s not about a situation but about the lens you choose to view it through.

At a recent dinner, a man cornered me into listening to his monologue about how he didn’t understand this ‘love-shove thing’ and how marriage was simply a cultural requirement and a functional process to bring forth offspring. I squirmed out of his company and was happy to continue the topic with a friend who had much more optimistic views. He has been through a love at first sight situation that culminated in a happy marriage. He said to me that love at first sight is ‘inexplicable’ — it can transform your life in a moment. Imagine, you don’t know this person and he/she is not a glamorous, angelic apparition. But across a crowded room, you feel this magnetic connect that he/she seems to reciprocate.

I found myself wondering about this. How could one explain two people being drawn towards each other after a momentary encounter? How could one decode the compelling desire to connect? Spiritual masters like the Dalai Lama speak of the interconnectedness of all human beings. And now, biologists are beginning to support his belief with factual data. Though hard to explain, such a notion is quite thrilling — that you might, someday, meet your soulmate within just such a magical moment of connectedness.

No doubt many unmarried souls might be consoled by the famous platitude that there is someone special waiting somewhere for everyone in the world. Suddenly, magically, he/she might enter your life and you will know within a moment. The wonder is that every soul, no matter how old or young, can have such an encounter at any point in his/her life. There is always the possibility of overwhelming happiness, and it is never too late to hope for it to materialise. There is no age barrier for love at first sight either. Any time is a good time for love.

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com