Yin & Yang: Sex and Fatigue

Newly wed Radhika was really confused. She had heard tales of sexual extravaganzas from her relatives and friends. She was told that men are beasts who jump on any woman if given a chance but her husband hardly showed any enthusiasm. It’s she who has to ask for it but even then he dozes off during sex, making her wonder if she is not attractive enough.

In an era of men falling asleep before and after sex, here’s a new breed of men — one who sleep off while having sex. Ask them why and pat comes the reply — tired. But who are to be blamed for the sleepy lovers?

Chronic over scheduling, overwork, stress, traveling, meeting targets and deadlines are an intrinsic part of urban life. However, physical exhaustion alone cannot be blamed here, mental exhaustion is equally treacherous. Also, exhaustion is not gender oriented, but it’s often the man who is expected to raise to the occasion and not the woman.

Tips for the tired:

• Do not attempt sex at night as the last thing. Try it first thing in the morning or when you feel refreshed and charged.
• In real life spontaneous sex is more an exception than a rule. Work to make it happen as expectancy adds a zing.
• Pub’s happy hours may prove to be sad hours for you later. Similarly making love after a heavy meal may actually be disastrous. Eat light or even better eat after sex.
• Have frequent vacations. The 21st century syndrome of overwork, stress and fatigue are swept under the carpet during vacationing.
• Have periodic health check ups. Sometimes overwork alone may not be the cause, it may be due to anemia, vitamin deficiency, side effects of medicines, or over enthusiastic workouts at the gym.

The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com