Accepting differences

Most of us would have come across a situation wherein one would have encountered someone’s lifestyle, communication or overall behaviour working extremely in contrast with ours.

We are all the products of our own individual upbringing and experiences so it is completely natural that we will all have differences in opinions on a wide range of issues.

The world would be a very dull place if we were all the same and it’s the incredible diversity amongst people throughout the world that makes it such a fascinating place. So when the question arises about how to respond or deal with such a person or situation, we need to delve deeper.

When dealing with issues related to differences, a logical start point is where you define a ‘difference’. When defining this ‘difference’ or categorising a person as ‘different’, it becomes critical to identify what or who is he or she different from? Now it is necessary to examine and try to find out a healthier way of dealing and responding to such situations.

Firstly, accept. Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognising a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit.

Tolerance, on the other hand, is a significant trait that helps us in becoming more accepting of others and their differences. Tolerance is a virtue. It is a version of the golden rule in that, so far as we want others to treat us decently, we need to treat them decently as well. It is also a pragmatic formula for the functioning of society, as we can see in the omnipresent wars between different religions, political ideologies, nationalities, ethnic groups, or other us-versus-them divisions.

But acceptance goes a step beyond tolerance. If a sign of tolerance is a feeling of “I can live with A (behaviour, religion, race, culture, etc.)” acceptance moves beyond that in the direction of “A is OK.” You can tolerate something without accepting it, but you cannot accept something without tolerating it.

One of the greatest way to honour a relationship is to deal with our differences and the best way to deal with differences is through respectful dialogue and attentive listening, as to respect the other person is the key to wiping out the differences. Using respectful words in conversation is very important. Listening courteously and calmly is usually the harder part; however, it is important to listen — really listen to one another.

Self-knowledge is one common goal that will help everyone achieve personal success. So many people are hung up on somebody else’s idea of what it means to be successful, and they are unaware of what is truly important to them. This is completely normal. Each and every person is unique and we have to respect that. Realising what is truly important to us is a major step towards achieving personal success.
The writer is an alternative medicine practitioner