Going with the flow

Both Vickas and Vinita are self-taught and adventurous. While Vinita runs a designer store showcasing her home label that specialises in hand-woven Ikat, Vickas is a successful restaurateur.

The couple, who has been married for 16 years, says, “Don't try to find logic in everything which happens, go with the flow and underline it with love and understanding.” Vinita adds, “Vickas always sings this old Hind song, ‘chand mehbooba ho meri kab maine socha tha / haan tum bilkul waisi ho jaisa maine socha tha’.”

Remembers the early days of the relationship, she says, “We had been dating for six years before marriage. And finally when the day came, we were super excited that we had managed to convince our families. The last two weeks seemed like six years to us. It was a bag of mixed feelings.”

Vickas adds, “During the wedding, as per our tradition we were to make seven promises to each other, and after each promise we had to take a round of the fire. All the while we were laughing and joking, knowing it would be a tough job to keep up, but our hearts wanted to commit as we had waited for this hour for so long. During the last round we held hands tightly; it’s also our rituals which keep us bonded.”

Vinita says, “To see each other as bride and groom, which happens only once in a lifetime. During jaimala we both complemented each other at the same time with rounds of laughter and applause from our friends and relatives.”They say that the best foundation for a great relationship is great friendship.

They started as friends and found a spark along the way. “Our parents were family friends and we used to visit each other’s house. One night on a full moon he invited me for a walk in our colony and finally committed his feelings, and the story began,” says Vinita adding, “Vickas wrote a long letter about his life and future.

There were no emails or mobiles back then. After reading the letter I felt it was special and that Vickas was already in love with me, waiting for me to say yes.”The couple was most excited about living together and not having to find or give reasons to meet.

Keeping the spark alive in a relationship is a challenge, but for Vickas and Vinita, working together has worked for them. “We both share the same work place and we really enjoy working together. For us work has been a real bonding experience.”

The strongest relationships are thick with arguments. The key is how they handle the conflict.  “One has to intimate and often Vickas does that. Nowadays, WhatsApp can be really helpful to overcome fights. Just write what you can’t speak,” says Vinita.

The couple, who has a nine-year-old daughter, Ahi, says, “The best thing about getting married is that you know you have a soul-mate to walk with through thick and thin of life.”

Vickas also has some advise for the newly-weds, “Don’t take your marriage to a dissecting table every now and then, accept you have the best. And when you feel it’s falling apart, gather it by going on a quick break.”