Sex talk: Please your girl the way she wants it

Communication between partners is the most essential part of an emotionally and physically fulfilling relationship. Your sex life can suffer if you do not clearly communicate your likes and dislikes to your partner.

Talking about your sexual preferences with your partner can be a daunting task for some. The fear of it resulting in an ego clash or disagreement is what usually discourages people from talking about it out loud. But to have a truly enriching sex life, it is important to keep channels of communication open with your partner.

Women reveal certain things that they wish their partner knew about their bodies and what to do in bed. Natasha (name changed), a 24 year old working professional said that she wished her boyfriend paid more attention to her body during the process. She complained that he never gives foreplay much time and prefers to skip straight to the point. When he doesn’t spend much time for foreplay, Samira said that she doesn’t feel desired.

Another common complaint by women her age was that men are not vocal during sex or even foreplay. They don’t make their pleasure very evident so it is difficult to judge whether they are enjoying what their partner is doing or not. Men also rarely go down on their partners but expect that the women should go down on them almost every time.

Men should also be more mindful of the woman’s preferences in bed. If your partner is into BDSM, give in to that fetish at times. Do role-playing games and don’t just make it about you every time. Contrary to popular opinion, women also like to dominate in bed and allowing them do so would help boost your chemistry in bed.

Supriya (name changed) is a 44 year old housewife. Her complaint is that her husband doesn’t pay attention to all erogenous zones and just sticks to the breasts. Stimulation of the neck, tongue play of the navel region and other erogenous zones must also be explored. As you spend more years together, couples tend to cut down on the adventure and prefer to stick to the basics and cuddling.

Older women also often say that their routine is now standard and there is no adventure in terms of the location. Try alternatives other than the bed. The sofa in the living room, the kitchen counter and the bath tub are other fun and exciting places to explore each other’s bodies. The space constraints will only add to the fun.

Other common complaints from women were that their partners don’t suck on their toes, don’t give enough time for post-sex cuddles and not giving enough hickeys, or love bites, which are a huge turn on for several women.