Tricky equations

Recently, on my way home from work, I was horrified when I received four videos of very gory, graphic porn from an otherwise quiet carpenter I had been working with during my interior design projects. He had, till that day, used WhatsApp only to convey designs of table bases et al. I had to park on the side of the street to deal with my shock and outrage. My male friends said to me, you must have been nice to him. Whatever could that have meant? I mean, is being nice in a working relationship an invitation for an attack on my modesty?

When I look at women’s issues at the workplace and their relationships with their colleagues, I feel that looking upon any woman as a sexual object is detrimental to the growth of an entire economy. After all, a female professional is no different from a male professional. Each might have her own method, practice, scope, dexterity and IQ — and none of these are gender issues. A change in the attitude of males is not only required, but absolutely necessary in the professional space along with a clear sense of boundaries.

An office is a space of open interaction, but certain invisible walls must exist that are not meant to be breached by men or women. And this must begin from the beginning. A change in male-oriented education that still contains covert signifiers of discrimination as well as objectification of women as sexual objects, can lead to much greater professional productivity among both genders. At a young age if both boys and girls are taught the right values and enabled to understand respect for all individuals, man and woman alike, it could go a long way. As for me personally — I do get taken seriously in relationships at work, by my male as well as female colleagues.

My observation is that a lot depends on how I approach a relationship at work, especially with a male employee. I believe that confidence, belief in my agenda and a degree of astuteness goes a long way. Society will take a while to really alter its patriarchal view of women at work, but I’m optimistic and feel that women can do a great deal to help themselves in the professional space.

The most important need of the hour is for them to effectively deal with their sometimes tricky equations with men at work. It is extremely important that both be educated in mutual respect. In a more general sense, the business community in India is viewed as a very patriarchal setup, but this very community has some of the most successful professional women in the world — Kiran Mazumdar Shaw, Anu Aga, Indira Nooyi  and so many more. And their success stands testimony to the fact that women have as much potential for business acumen and professional skill as men do.

Actress Anushka Sharma was recently quoted as saying, “If there is an actor of the same stature as me, who would be able to bring in only that much money to a movie, he would still be paid more than me because he is a guy. Nobody is even thinking about it. It is just ingrained.” This needs to change, in the film industry and otherwise.

Besides the work space, a conducive attitude within the immediate family is also of the utmost importance. If a woman is blessed with an open-minded family, or if she can get them to open their minds by her own grit and determination to do something with her life, then nothing can stop her from finding her way in the world.

I am not a torch-bearing feminist but I do believe that a greater sense of fairness needs to pervade in society where women can tap into their potential for the professional space and not simply be reduced to objects of desire or domesticity.

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com