Life-changing journey

Ishaan goes six months back to begin the story when he met his love of life, Surya. It all happened during a train journey to Kozhikode from Thiruvananthapuram. It was an unplanned trip for Ishaan. So, he was in a hurry and rushed to the railway station to catch the 10 pm train to Kozhikode. He was going to take part in the event Punarjani held there. In the same train was Surya, who was also travelling to the same venue. They sat opposite to each other. Though they have known each other as community members and had met during certain events before, it was a special moment for Ishaan. “After sometime, I realised that I had crush on her. That crush had been there throughout  the journey and even after I returned to Thiruvananthapuram. We were together in  the return journey too, though in  a car” recalls Ishaan. Surya and Ishaan tied the knot on May 10 under the Special Marriage Act at a function held in Thiruvananthapuram. They are the first transsexual couple of Kerala. 

“On that day, I was supposed to travel to Kozhikode with my community mother Sreekutti Amma. But, I called off the journey as it was raining. Later, I changed my mind as my mother felt sad and headed to the railway station,” he says. But, Ishaan is happy about that twist as it opened a beautiful chapter in his life. “She is with me now just because I boarded that train,” he giggles. “Only a few minutes were left for the train to kick off and I quickly got in.” As his crush remained so even after returning to Thiruvananthapuram, he collected her number and called her one day at night. “She asked me why I called her then. I replied I wanted to know if she was fine. She jokingly asked if it was the time to inquire that and said she would call me be back,” says Ishaan. As promised, Surya called him back.That was the moment Ishaan confirmed his love for her. “Hadn’t she called me back, I wouldn’t have taken this forward,” says Ishaan.“When he called me that night, I had a doubt that he was attracted to me,” Surya smiles.

The couple with transmen.

Not just that, a lot of sweet moments such as ‘the time when Surya patiently waited for Ishaan at the IFFK venue’, followed by sealing their love for each other. But, it took a while for both to confess their love. “Because, I was apprehensive about the community response and whether it would tarnish Surya’s image as she is a public figure. I didn’t want to force her into this. In our community, we have relations. Just like Sreekutti Amma is my community mother, Surya is her community sister. So, in that way, she is my aunt though I have never addressed her so,” says Ishaan. But, nothing stood in their way. One fine morning, Ishaan went to Surya’s home to profess his love. But, she was sleeping and didn’t pick his calls. He didn’t want to disturb her. So, he wrote down a message on the wall. “I just wrote ‘I love you’ and came back. Later in the afternoon when she called me I told her I visited her home and left a message on the wall. She stepped out keeping the phone on hold,saw it, but gave no confirmation then,” says Ishaan. “I was looking at all the walls there and when I finally found it, I was so excited,”says Surya, who was blown away by the gesture.

 

They met again at Kanakakkunnu, discussed their fears and reached a consensus. If it was Surya’s personality that drew Ishaan close to her, Surya says, she was impressed by Ishaan’s frankness. “Usually, people propose transsexuals either for sexual favours or their money. They keep mum about the relationship. But, Ishaan said he wanted to legally marry me and take me home, which I found attractive. He wanted society to accept transsexuals and set an example for others,” says Surya, who is an actor, activist, unit secretary in DYFI, Palayam, and social justice board member. Ishaan is the social justice state district board member and is into transmen community activities.

Once they were sure about it, they first talked about it to their community parents – Ishaan to Sreekutti amma and Renjini Mummy and Surya to Renju Renjimar (makeup artist). Then they asked to their biological parents — Shanifa and Kabeer, parents of Ishaan and Usha Vijayan and Vijayakumaran Nair, parents of Surya. Everyone stood by them. “My family was a little concerned about religion because they had bore the brunt of accepting my identity and my community. I couldn’t blame them. But, I had no other option. I was sure about it, stood for it and eventually everything fell into place,” says Ishaan, who is happy that all their family members attended the function. “We wanted to get married with the blessings of our parents and we are happy that ithappened,” says Ishaan. “Marriage has always been a dream for me, but I never thought it would happen. God has always blessed me with things I have strongly wished for. This also happened at the age of 31. I am happy,” says Surya. For the couple, more than making a history, they want their union to inspire others. “It should be an encouragement to other transsexuals –that they could lead a normal life,” they say.