Forever, in memories

It is difficult for Ramesh Kumar to recount those days. He pauses in between, takes deep breaths, and then goes on. Despite all difficulties, he narrates the brave story of his wife Ashwathy, whom he affectionately calls Achu, as he feels it would inspire those who fight cancer. Netizens came to know about Ashwathy’s tale when Ramesh put up a Facebook post about how she went to the Kaloor stadium to meet her favourite cricketer Sachin Tendulkar   during the Kerala Blasters match. She was undergoing the second round of chemotherapy for ovarian cancer then. Ramesh had also put a selfie taken in front of the stadium with her and their son Krishna Hari alias Kichu, calling it one of his “favourite” photos. The post was so touching that it went viral. “She was a brave and active person. Even during her treatment at RCC, she found time to motivate other patients,” recalls Ramesh, a native of Pattambi. His life with Ashwathy had been going on smoothly until she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She left this world in April. And Ramesh is trying to get back to normal life.

Going down the memory lane, he recalls their journey. “Ours was a love-cum-arranged marriage. We were friends. When we both reached marriageable age, I thought ‘why not marry her?’ She was friendly, caring and understanding. We got married in 2012. After that we moved to Kozhikode. She was working as a teacher there,” says Ramesh. She resigned her job after their son’s birth.  “We had a very happy life. We would go for unplanned trips on the bike and life was flowing smoothly. One day, we decided to travel to Ernakulam. When we reached there she said she had a back ache. At first, we thought it was because of the travel. But the pain persisted.

We consulted a doctor who said there was nothing to be afraid of. Later, when we returned to Pattambi, the pain returned. We consulted the doctor again only to be assured that she was fine. But things got worse in the following days. We did a full-body check up. After scanning, we got to know about cysts in the ovary. We first went to Thrissur Medical College and then to RCC and eventually it was confirmed to be ovarian cancer, a silent killer,” says Ramesh. Ashwathy confronted the situation bravely and consoled Ramesh. A Zoology graduate, she knew the gravity of the situation well. She bounced back to life after the first round of treatment. And everything was back to normal.

“But we knew it would return at any time like the doctors had said,” says Ramesh. But, the fear couldn’t put confine them to their home. They travelled around and celebrated occasions. “The cancer would attack us if we stayed indoors or outdoors. So what is the point of coiling up and being sad?” he asks, adding, “I just made sure she didn’t get infected. We had a good circle of friends. These kind of situations help us understand those who truly care for us.” It was during that time she expressed her desire to meet Sachin. “Celebrity Cricket League was going on then. She told me Sachin would come for the Blasters match (Indian Super League). She was healthy then and I told her ‘we would go’. But, the cancer came back all of a sudden,” he says.

Ashwathy wanted to see Sachin and Ramesh knew it. The second round of chemotherapy was going. The situation was critical but he decided to take the risk. “That is the only thing I could do for her,” he says. With the help of his friends, he made the necessary arrangements. “We kept juice and water ready. There were friends with me and an ambulance was ready outside,” he says. Ramesh convinced the league authorities and took her in. “She was so happy. I cannot express that in words. When Sachin came to ground, everyone took their mobile phones and turned on the flash. She asked for my mobile and did the same. It was a great moment, although, deep down in our hearts, we knew the happiness wouldn’t last long. She would leave. Once the game was over, she laid down on a bedspread on the floor. We left the ground once the rush got over,” says Ramesh.

After a few months, Ashwathy left this world, leaving behind a lot of memories for Ramesh and his family. “She fought till the end. Cancer could never tarnish her spirit. She made sure everything was taken care of, encouraged me to stay brave and move on in life. We used to take a lot of photos. But, we didn’t take much during the treatment. A few days before her demise, she asked me to take a photo. She put her left hand on mine and clicked it,” he says. Ramesh stops talking for a while and resumes, “She taught me a great lesson. So many people have called me seeing the post. If any cancer patient messages me, I call them and I tell them to call me whenever they need my presence,” he signs off.