Importance of online etiquette

A few days ago, when a girl walked out of a forced marriage to be with her lover, online platforms were buzzing with abusive comments about her. The trigger was just a video that surfaced on Facebook with the tagline ‘small celebration of the great escape’, which showed the guy cutting the wedding reception cake. Nobody tried to examine the facts. The video got shared, making the situation worse. Although, the girl’s close friends later came out revealing the fact that she had informed her parents and the guy about her affair, that wasn’t enough for the netizens to stop harassing her. The storm settled a bit when the Women’s Commission intervened and warned about taking stern action against the abusers.  

This is not an isolated case. We have seen or read about many such instances in the past where people make personal attacks without checking the facts, say in the case of the fake photo of the Kochi Metro ‘drunkard’. ‘He made a comment so I am also putting a comment!’ This has been the attitude. People are least bothered about the mental trauma the affected person goes through. Perhaps, they don’t think the same arrow can be shot back at them at some point in life. In such sensitive situations, where should we draw the line? What is the etiquette to be followed on social media?  “In social media, the presence of Malayalis reveals the negative side of our culture. They react in an unsophisticated manner. Remember the Sachin Tendulkar issue and how Malayalis trolled the woman who said she didn’t know him?” says Dr Prameela Devi, a member of the Women’s Commission. 

“It is good to react on an issue, but one should do that decently. Responding to a situation without knowing the reality is bad. The kind of words these people use on virtual platforms they don’t utter in a real situation. These kinds of abuses we have to confront legally. We, especially women, should gather the courage to do that,” she adds.  According to Vipin Roldant, a psychologist, this is a psychological situation. “For many, it is like venting the anger they have been suppressing for a long time,” he says. “We all have a tendency to react. But we may not be able to do that always in real life due to unfavourable circumstances. We suppress that emotion in our minds and it bursts out while making comments online. This is called displacement, a defense mechanism,” adds Vipin. 

Tech writer V.K. Adarsh has a different take on this issue. In his opinion, personal attacks and spreading of false information in cyberspace happens out of various reasons. Ignorance on the subject and the nature of the cyberspace is one major cause. “An expert may know where to draw the line in a public space while expressing his thoughts, but a common man doesn’t. He cannot be blamed for that. He is not aware of the significance of editing. Social media gives him freedom and he uses that. He doesn’t know the cyberspace is a public domain. At a time when even experts become victims of false information, how can we blame a commoner?” asks Adarsh.

“I once received a blood requirement message from a friend. I called up the number and the person at the other end said he had already recovered from the situation. It was an old message. In such cases, if we mention the date, it would be helpful. Else, erase or edit the post once things get over,” he adds. Ignorance about the subject is another factor. “Social media has made everyone an activist. When we say or share things without cross-checking the facts, it would create problems with unfathomable consequences. However, it cannot be controlled completely. What we could do is to enforce a law stating that those who spread false information regarding the health and life of people would be punished. That may curb the issue,” he feels. 

How can we restrain the menace? “Ensure authenticity of the event before sharing it. Sharing is equivalent to giving an opinion. Make people aware that they can be booked under the IT Act for spreading rumours. We have to learn cyber etiquette. It will take some time,” says Adarsh.  Vipin says it is always good to ask four questions before commenting on a subject or sharing something. “Ask yourself, what is the problem? What are the causes behind the problem? What are the possible solutions? And finally, what is the best solution? Let us nurture constructive discussions,” he says.