Breaking the bad phase

Bengaluru is known for its ability to provide everybody with a social life; even the ones who are in the process of matrimonial transition. Bodhi — A New Light for the Separated or Divorced is a regular meet-up group in the city with the primary objective to network with individuals who have or are going through the process of marital separation or divorce.

“We believe in learning through each others’ experience and providing a support system for individuals who seek for the same. We wish to create a platform for sharing information on legal matters, emotional support and bonding through social interactions,” explains Anitha Ramachandra, one of the curators of the group.

“In addition to being a safe and secure platform for socialising, on the anvil is group discussion sessions conducted by experts on subjects of relationships, dealing with singlehood, legal advisory support, special events for single parents with kids, social initiatives to help disadvantaged sections of society, and so on.” Only individuals who are maritally separated or have embarked on the process of divorce or are already divorced, qualify to being members of this group. “We mean business,” says Uma Devi, another of the organisers. “Single people in an unhappy marriage, who are still civilly co-habiting with their spouses, do not qualify as members of the group. Also, in event of an ex-spouse or a partner is already a member of this group, your membership will not be approved,” she adds to explain the need for gravity when it comes to providing  support.

School teacher and mother of two, Namitha S has been a member of Bodhi for about a year now says, “The best part about the group is the freedom we feel in each others’ company, without our privacy being compromised. The organisers contact new members before the membership is approved.  They also take special measures to ensure that inappropriate messages and mass messaging is completely kept away to keep the sanctity of the group intact. We are here to receive and offer guidance. Separation is a sensitive time after all,” she enthuses in an attempt to portray the security this group offers.

“Members are encouraged to attend events regularly as far as possible — we would like to have more active members than dormant ones. This is a voluntary social group and we expect members to initiate and run events and programmes which are aligned to the objectives of this group,” adds 32-year-old member, Rajeev Verma, “Regular counselling sessions for the devastated, and brunches to discuss coping mechanisms are on our itinerary for every meet up.” Psychologist Karthik Kashyap opines,  “Unfortunately, we live in a world where separation and divorce are still treated with judgment. It is important to make an individual feel welcome and understood when they are going through such rough phases.”