Eschewing revenge

It is that time of the year when we tend to take stock of how the year went and how we coped with what life handed us. Perhaps it is also a good time to assess how we have evolved and grown in a holistic sense and make a concerted effort to get rid of all negativity that pulls us down.

Take revenge for instance. Recently I happened to be chatting with someone and the conversation veered towards the #MeToo movement. The lady recalled what one survivor told her about how she healed — not by getting even or seeking revenge but by simply choosing to grow bigger so that the episode or the perpetrator ceased to matter any longer. This is not to romanticise the process or trivialise the hurt but choosing to deal with the situation in a practical and beneficial manner.

This conversation got me thinking — seeking revenge is an exercise that drains us. If we begin looking life through that prism we will stay in that mode where we are seeking   ways to get even and avenge ourselves. It is like running in the same place. It forces us into a rut out of which it is difficult to extricate ourselves.

It is far better to channelise our energies into something positive and constructive so that they are not frittered away or dissipated needlessly. Focusing your attention on strengthening yourself, expanding your horizons and conquering newer frontiers will open up   newer vistas and lead you on a different path.
It will help you train your eyes on what lies ahead of you and not dwell on what transpired in the past and cannot be changed.

It is also good to learn to loosen and lighten up a bit. If one carries the cross of the memories of a wrong someone had done us, all the time, not only will we be weighed down, the remembrance will eat into and corrode us. We might even find ourselves saddled with health issues like acidity and high blood pressure or worse.

Instead write down exactly how you feel and visualise your self consigning this baggage into some leaping tongues of flame or actually burn that piece of paper and put that memory behind you.

We all make mistakes right. Think back at your own life. Haven’t there been occasions when you have said or done something thoughtless or unintentional which hurt someone or some living being.

So perhaps the person did what he/she did out of folly or ignorance or a false sense of self. Or worse still perhaps out of malicious intent. Families have actually forgiven murderers. Why? Because after a point everyone wants to move on. When Jesus was on the cross his enemies were busy heaping insults on him. Yet he interceded with, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

Rather than wanting to settle scores remember that the perpetrator really needs help and perhaps your prayers. You could choose to accept the suffering caused by others and let karma handle the rest with the perpetrator.

And what is this hurt that we are talking about. Like beauty it is only skin deep or rather ego deep. These wounds never scar the beautiful inner self that is our core. Hold on to that thought.

There will be times when you feel you are readier to forgive and times when you feel you are back to where you started.  These swings shouldn't matter. Just make sure   revenge is not on your radar.

The writer is a Reiki channel, yoga practitioner and a spiritual seeker