Dad tweets hilarious conversation with his four daughters
Take a look at the series of these tweets, it's indeed funny!
James Breakwell, who is a blogger based in Indianapolis is considered to be the funniest dad on Twitter by some people. Wondering why? He often tweets his daily conversation with his four lovey daughters all under the age of six. His Twitter account XplodingUnicorn has over 429k and his daughters truly love the attention they are getting.
“They like what I do on Twitter mainly because it’s all about them. On one hand, Twitter makes me a better father because I spend more time with my kids. On the other hand, Twitter makes me a much worse father because I only do it to get more material,” Breakwell told Buzzfeed. “
Take a look at the series of these tweets, it's indeed funny!
5-year-old: My putty is hard
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2016
Wife: When you don't use something for a long time, it gets stiff
Me: *looks up*
Wife: Don't you dare say it
5-year-old: I have a lab coat. I'm a doctor.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 24, 2016
Me: Why is your lab coat missing the sleeves?
5: I'm Dr. Hulk. pic.twitter.com/SfujNSRgqO
Me: Sit there until you finish your lunch.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2016
5-year-old: Fine!
*food gets cold*
*sun sets*
*world ends*
Me: How much cereal do you want?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2016
3-year-old: More.
Me: *pours*
3: MORE!
[later]
Me: You didn't eat any of it.
3: You gave me too much.
5-year-old: *dressed as Elsa* Zap! You're frozen.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 22, 2016
Me: I don't have time to play right now
Wife: Take out the trash
Me: Can't. I'm frozen.
Me: Can you come over here, princess?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 22, 2016
5-year-old: Dad! I'm too old to be a princess!
Me: Then what should I call you?
5: The queen.
[leaving home]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 22, 2016
5-year-old: There's a slug blocking the door!
Me: It's harmless
5: Then you move it
Me:
5:
Me: Everybody out the window
Me: *ends a phone call*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 21, 2016
5-year-old: Who was that?
Me: My boss. He just wanted to pick my brain.
5: Is he a zombie?
3-year-old: There's something wrong with this soap.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 21, 2016
Me: What?
3: It tastes funny.
Sounds like user error.
3-year-old: Why do you always carry the baby?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 21, 2016
Me: She can't walk yet.
3: I think she's just lazy.
Busted.
3-year-old: How much will you grow by your next birthday?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2016
Me: Adults stop growing.
3: So you don't get older?
Me: Well, your mom doesn't.
[watching a random cartoon with the kids]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2016
Me: Why is the dog flying a helicopter?
3-year-old: Because he's a dog.
Well, that explains it.
Me: Eat your vegetables. They make you grow.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2016
5-year-old: But Mom said I'm growing up too fast.
I'm raising a lawyer.
[floor is covered in water]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2016
Me: I told you not to play in the sink!
3-year-old: I didn't!
Me:
3: It's from the toilet.
5-year-old: What's puberty?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2016
Me: It's when your body goes through changes.
5: Is that when I'll get my ice powers?
Me: Where did the grapes go?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016
Toddler: *sits there innocently with suspiciously chubby cheeks*
Me: For the last time, you're not a hamster.
5-year-old: I drew a llamaman.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016
Me: What's that?
5: *rolls her eyes* A man who's a llama, Dad.
I have so much to learn about everything.
Toddler: *spills an entire bowl of popcorn and then eats it off the floor*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 17, 2016
5-year-old: Stop it!
Me: Let her go. I don't want to vacuum.
3-year-old: Our house isn't very fast.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 16, 2016
Me: It's a house. It doesn't move at all.
3: We should get a faster one.
3-year-old daughter: A boy at daycare said he likes me.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 15, 2016
Me: Do you like him back?
3: He colors outside the lines. He needs to grow up.
Me: You forgot to brush your teeth. They're going to fall out.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2016
5-year-old: That's the point.
That tooth fairy story backfired.