Age' old cliches don't work

Are the lines that marked dating rules becoming outdated? After Milind Soman (52) and Ankita Konwar (27), Priyanka Chopra (36) - Nick Jonas (26), Bigg Boss 12 couple, Anup Jalota (65) and Jasleen Matharu (28),  have caught the attention of viewers across India. Having publicly announced their romantic relationship on the show, they’ve gotten people up in arms, defensive and shocked.

Yet, in a chat with city folks, we find out that they have left behind the age old dating rules. They stick to the belief that age is just a number. 

Explaining what could be a possible reason for the negative response, Anquna Ananitha (21), a student from St. Joseph’s College, says, “They find such relationships appalling because they don’t know if it will work. On the positive side, we have a rich history of grandparents who have married partners considerably older (in the case of women) or younger  (in the case of men )and pulled off happy marriages.” 

She further states that the prime difference between the relationships in the past and today deals with consent, and that makes all the difference. “Today, when two people with a significant age gap decide to get married or stay in a relationship, they are not forced into it. It is a matter of choice and comfort. But, on the flip side, youngsters today are keen on experimenting. If people are getting into such relationships due to a ‘cool factor’ or to ‘stay trendy’ it can be detrimental for their growth.”

Bengalureans dismiss the argument, whether it is OK to be in a relationship with a partner who is older than oneself, calling the debate outdated.

Sreejith Sreekumar Nair, a musician, says, “The age of a person is completely irrelevant in a relationship, what matters is compatibility. As long as a person is comfortable in their relationship it shouldn’t matter what others have to say. People always have something to say but it is upto us, whether we allow it to affect us or not. When compared to a time in which a relationship was considered healthy based on how long it lasted, we now live in a time when it is Ok to have short term relationships as long as we are happy. The argument is outdated and moreover, unnecessary.”

Living in a country like ours, which has a rigid mentality, is it really so easy to move on and explore other possible relationships? 

Having been in a relationship with a girl who was four years older than him, Arjun Ajith (21), says, “We were very happy together despite the age difference but it will be unfair for me to say that it didn’t matter at all. There were times when she would try to take the upper hand in our relationship. She was right most of the times but it bothered me when she did that in situations where it wasn’t necessary. Being someone who was bought up in a family with strong Indian roots, it was hard for me to accept it too. But that wasn’t what led to our break up. We happened to grow out of the relationship.” 

Despite all the various opinions, one question that stands is, who are we to label a relationship right or wrong? Dr Meghna Singhal, a clinical psychologist, says that it is important for us to not be judgemental. She adds, “who set these rules about who and how one should date? Youngsters today are looking for compatibility and not a long lasting relationship. They are exploring what works for them. We are embracing things that are new and breaking away from old patterns, which is good. What we can focus on is the positives and negatives of being in such a relationship. Firstly, it brings a certain level of maturity to the table which a huge plus and for the older person it might bring out their fun side.”