Daughter should not live in fear, says Padma Lakshmi

Donald Trump sent out a tweet questioning why Christine Blasey Ford the woman who has come forward accusing Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh of attempted rape waited until now to report her accusations.  Trump tweeted in defence of Brett Kavanaugh, describing him as “a fine man, with an impeccable reputation, who is under assault by radical left wing politicians.” The millionaire and former reality star then said of Kavanaugh’s accuser, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, that “if the attack on Dr. Ford was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed with local Law Enforcement Authorities [sic] by either her or her loving parents.”

Survivors are, however, now coming forward on Twitter in the wake of the  #WhyIDidntReport campaign explaining why it’s quite common for those with a history of sexual assault to not come forward immediately. Padma Lakshmi, the author, actress and Top-Chef host, has also opened up after 32 years on how she was raped as a teenager to explain why victims don’t always come forward with their allegations. In a New York Times op-ed article, she recounts being raped at 16 by her then 23-year-old boyfriend.

“On New Year’s Eve, just a few months after we first started dating, he raped me,” she alleged. She wrote that she didn’t tell anyone what took place, and that she felt as though the incident was her fault. “We had no language in the 1980s for date rape. I imagined that adults would say: ‘What the hell were you doing in his apartment? Why were you dating someone so much older?’” she recalled. 

Lakshmi also shared a childhood experience of sexual abuse, and explains how it led to her believing the idea that victims are punished for speaking out. She was even banished to Chennai for a year after she underwent sexual abuse at the age of 7 and she told her parents about it. “The lesson was: If you speak up, you will be cast out,” she wrote. “Some say a man shouldn’t pay a price for an act he committed as a teenager. But the woman pays the price for the rest of her life, and so do the people who love her,” Padma continued. 

“Now, 32 years after my rape, I am stating publicly what happened. I have nothing to gain by talking about this. But we all have a lot to lose if we put a time limit on telling the truth about sexual assault and if we hold on to the codes of silence that for generations have allowed men to hurt women with impunity. One in four girls and one in six boys today will be sexually abused before the age of 18. I am speaking now because I want us all to fight so that our daughters never know this fear and shame and our sons know that girls’ bodies do not exist for their pleasure and that abuse has grave consequences. Those messages should be very clear as we consider whom we appoint to make decisions on the highest court of our land,” states Padma who like many other victims of sexual assault found it difficult to discuss the incident with her intimate partners and therapists.