Submarined in the smart sea

It’s tough being a millennial, but having to deal with new-age phenomena like ghosting, stashing and more has made the lives of city youngsters even more confusing

To say the social sphere of a millennial’s life is confusing would be an understatement. Terms like ghosting, catfishing or stashing may make little sense at first but with meaning comes realisation. Newer trends like “submarining” where a person who’s a friend or a possible date could disappear from your life for days or months together and then reappear as if nothing happened is a real-time issue that many of us have faced at least once. We chat with youngsters about the confusing straits of building a network or a social life... 

The virtual platform has the added benefit of letting you take your time to articulate correctly but you miss out on reading important signs through body language. Amreen Badani, a digital marketing manager says, “I’m more comfortable socialising online. It gives me space and time to gather my thoughts and put them into words and respond at my own convenience. The only down side to this is you can never know what the person is actually feeling as there is no body language involved. It’s not confusing — once you know what kind of vibe you attract, you will network in the right ways.” Dating apps are extremely popular among the youth in the city right now and Amreen adds that every second friend of her’s who uses them has had an experience with the aforementioned terms. “We don’t value relationships as much as we should, especially because of how many different ways there are to build new ones. It’s easy to find a replacement and therefore no one is afraid of ‘ghosting’ etc.” 

At face value, everything may seem alright but instances of ghosting and submarining are very common as Diya Ibrahim, an architecture student opines, “I have fallen prey to ghosting. It was quite unnerving and especially the lack of closure can be disturbing. I think people are more likely to be cold and cruel over social media as opposed to a face-to-face conversation. Personally, I’m selectively social and I cannot bring myself to trust someone who I’ve met online.” 

These youngsters are aware that conversations and attachments built on a virtual platform are mostly superficial, hardly ever translating into a real-life friendship. Akshay Hegde, a marketing executive says that instances of ghosting and submarining sound strange but when explained make total sense! “People have their own reasons for why they do it and it can’t exactly be described as bad behaviour. We usually judge people’s motives when they try to communicate with us. Interacting with the opposite sex gets especially hard as you tend to judge each other’s intentions. Sometimes it is, just about having a conversation or wanting to be friends!”