Baby steps: Surrogacy and the hard rules

The one good thing about the new and stringent surrogacy law is that couples will now start making genuine efforts to stay close to relatives. After all, even if you fit the bill as potential candidates for this method of conception, you do need a living relative to act as the carrier. It’s a big ask because you’re not exactly borrowing the butter-chicken recipes.

Suddenly, having a child through surrogacy in India has become an impossible option for almost everyone. Actor Tusshar Kapoor must have sent a silent prayer to have been blessed with the good sense to not delay his decision further. There are several other actors, thanking their stars.

But the new stringent measures have left many wondering about how fair the rules are to those who genuinely dream of becoming parents. In a world that recently ratified the Paris Agreement — an attempt to safeguard the planet’s future — one asks why we don’t have checks to vet applicants? But let’s, for now, focus on the good parts of the new set of rules. Thousands of women stand to escape cruel exploitation and that’s definitely one big thumbs-up. Commercial surrogacy — with all the noise it was making — was fast becoming the next big curse for women countrywide and the government has made prudent steps towards stopping it.   

At the risk of sounding blunt, what about senior citizens and IVF? Early this year, Daljinder Kaur, a 70-something woman gave birth to a baby using donor eggs. It’s humanity’s brilliant achievement that we can now provide a couple with a child, but a baby at 70? When your own life’s term not expected to last beyond the child’s fifth birthday? Property was also in the picture. The doctor who treated the couple said, “A person who is infertile is not given a piece of land or any property by his father. Daljinder’s husband had to fight his father in court.” The couple also tried adopting but the son took off for the United States and never returned.

There is a real need to identify the deserving and the dedicated here —using hard facts and judgement. The single, step-daughter of a well-known Delhi-based business tycoon decided to have children on her own and she is now the proud mother of twins who live in a stable home. Sushmita Sen adopted her daughters and she is doing a splendid job. And all NRIs are not terrible either. Yes, commercial surrogacy has been booming due to cash from abroad but we’re dealing with human beings and a need!  The want and craving for a child have pushed at least one partner towards insanity. Millions of women spend nights weeping into the pillow. Nothing is more devastating than failed IVF cycles and the prospect of a childless future is soul-crushing for some.  

If the positive outcome of an application brings only joy and if it helps a deserving candidate achieve something wonderful, the procedure that entertains the application must be human. It must recognise the deserving and the dedicated.

Surrogacy is said to be one of the last options available. So, why make it out of reach for millions?