Every mom's biggest fear: Am I a good mother

Hyderabad: Maa’ is probably the first word a child utters. This is not just a word but an emotion. The bravest souls on the planet — mothers — who shoulder hundreds of responsibilities however, face several fears, the biggest of them  “Am I a good mother?”.

A mother’s fear takes flight right from her pregnancy. With time, a mother’s fears have also changed, said Saba Fatima, a psychologist.

“About 20 years ago whatever parents said was the last word for us, but today, parents actually are taking my appointment to learn how to mellow down and handle kids. Most of the parents fear losing their kids, especially the parents of 18-year-olds and above say that their children blackmail them about leaving the house and so on,” she said.

“Apart from raising them as strong individuals, my constant stress is now about their safety. The rise in sexual harassment cases is forcing me to restrict them from going out when I am not around, which leaves me feeling guilty that I am choking their freedom and growth. But I really feel helpless as their safety becomes my priority,” said Anjum Sultana, a mother of two.

“The generation gap has become the biggest issue today,” said Shanti K., a manager at Kims Hospital. “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her,” Shanthi said, quoting the Bible, adding “I am just trying to raise kids looking at whom God would laud me. Explaining to my son who is now a teen is a little difficult and I am constantly checking with my husband if I am a good mother,” she said.

On the other hand, 70-year-old Hemanta Laxmi, said how back then it was all about her instructions and no arguments with her kids, but now how she is facing a difficult time with her grandchildren. “While independence and freedom have taken the front seat, respect and relationships have taken a back seat. It is sad to see how my daughter now sits and explains to my granddaughter everything and all I had to do with my daughter was to just to tell her.”

“My biggest fear is peer group pressure, I see how teens these days are getting into smoking and bad habits and counselling them is becoming very tough. I am on 24 hours surveillance irrespective of where I am,” said Prem Verghese, an entrepreneur.