We all like to talk about ourselves. In fact, a bore is described as a person who wants to talk about himself when you want to talk about yourself. Research at the Harvard Department of Psychology shows that it is important to ask questions about the lives of others. This makes you far more impressive and likeable.
Finally, everything is about involving others. Leadership is not about how you feel, but about how you make others feel. Getting others to feel strong, competent and special enables them to contribute to the task at hand with enthusiasm.
So be generous. Not only does it win friends and influence people but it also gives you a jolt of bliss by positively affecting brain biology. Behavioural scientists speak of the warm glow that envelopes you when you do something for others. Especially when that someone can’t do anything for you. Just committing to doing something to help others increases your level of happiness.
‘There is no exercise better for the heart than lifting people up’, writes John Holmes. The best gymnasium for the body and mind is being generous. So, be swift in recognising merit, acknowledging talent and celebrating achievement. There are so many people waiting for the encouragement that only you can give. Kindness, empathy, peace, joy, humanity and generosity, create and nurture a peaceful and happy community.
So reach out, get genuinely interested, give others the greatest gift of all the gift of yourself. As Kahlil Gibran, the Lebanese poet wrote, ‘You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself, that you truly give.’
The writer is the author of Everyday Happiness Mantras
