‘Hung Up’ parents put kids on ‘Hold’

“Kids mimic everything,” says Dr. Sonal Anand, a psychiatrist at Wockhardt Hospitals. “When they see parents constantly on their phones, they’re likely to adopt similar habits. It’s not just about screen time — it’s about what they’re learning from your behaviour.”

A 2021 study by the American Academy of Paediatrics found that children whose parents spend more time on their smartphones are more likely to engage in similar behaviour, with 25% of children aged 2-5 years increasing their own screen time when their parents do. This isn’t just a passing phase; it’s a pattern that is shaping how the next generation views and uses technology. What might seem like a harmless habit could have lasting effects on family dynamics and, ultimately, on children’s social and emotional development?

Family Dynamics

As smartphones take centre stage, face-to-face interactions are taking a backseat. Children, who once looked to their parents for guidance and attention, are left to entertain themselves in a world full of digital distractions. The result? Emotional distance. Kids feel neglected, and the bonds that are supposed to hold families together start to weaken.

Dr. Anand explains, “Imagine being a child excited to share something with your parent, only to find them too engrossed in their phone. Over time, this leaves kids feeling unimportant or invisible.” This emotional disconnect can cause real harm. For example, children in these environments are more likely to exhibit behaviours associated with neglect, such as social withdrawal or difficulty in forming relationships.

A study published in The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry (2022) revealed that 20% of children exposed to high levels of parental phone use experienced social withdrawal, and 15% showed increased irritability and aggression. These children, who feel ignored or overlooked, may develop behavioural problems that carry into their teenage and adult years.

The effect is not limited to children. Parents also report feeling disconnected from their partners. In a 2023 survey by The American Psychological Associa-tion, 35% of parents said that their smartphone use had negatively impacted their ability to emotionally connect with their children. A significant 43% reported that their screen time was affecting their relationship with their spouse. This emotional divide often leads to misunderstandings and conflict in the home.

It’s clear that smartphones, despite their many advantages, are also contributing to a slow, but steady, erosion of the very fabric that keeps families strong.

Connection Problem

It’s ironic: smartphones, designed to enhance connection, often do the exact opposite. Social media apps, messaging platforms, and instant updates provide a constant stream of information, but it’s often superficial. The quality of communication suffers when parents are too absorbed in their digital worlds to fully engage with their families.

Many families experience this paradox during everyday activities, such as family meals or bedtime routines. According to a 2021 Common Sense Media Report, 60% of children report feeling ignored when their parents are on their smartphones, and 48% of parents admit to checking their phones during family meals. What was once sacred family time is now interrupted by the ping of a notification or the urge to check social media.
A 2023 report by Pew Research Centre found that 56% of parents said their smartphone use negatively affected their emotional connection with their children. These statistics paint a clear picture: despite being physically present, parents are emotionally absent.

What happens during these moments of distraction is not just a missed conversation or activity, it’s the erosion of trust and emotional security. Kids crave attention and validation, especially when they’re young.

Reconnecting Offline

So, what can families do to combat this growing issue? The first step is recognizing the problem. Parents need to acknowledge that excessive smartphone use is not just affecting their productivity but their relationships. Setting boundaries around screen time and creating phone-free zones or times — such as during meals or before bedtime — can help foster more meaningful interactions. 64% of children reported feeling that their parents spend more time on their smartphones than engaging with them according to HealthDay, 2024.

Another effective strategy is to lead by example. Parents should strive to be present and engaged, demonstrating the value of disconnecting from digital distractions. This sets the stage for children to follow suit, creating a balanced family dynamic where technology is used consciously and intentionally rather than mindlessly. “I tell parents that balance is key,” Dr. Anand explains. “It’s not about giving up smartphones altogether but using them consciously and ensuring they don’t interfere with relationships.”

Shared Values

Reconnecting offline also involves rediscovering shared activities that don’t involve screens. Family game nights, outdoor activities, cooking meals together, or simply sitting down to talk can help build stronger bonds. Families can turn the tide by setting boundaries around screen time, prioritizing face-to-face interactions, and rediscovering the joys of offline activities.

By reclaiming family time from the grip of smartphones, parents can rebuild stronger relationships with their children and partners, fostering a more connected, fulfilling family life. The question is: will families be able to hit pause on their digital lives long enough to truly reconnect?

Calls For Attention

20% kids exposed to high levels of parental phone use experienced social withdrawal (Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry) 15% kids showed increased irritability and aggression

Children who feel ignored or overlooked may develop behavioural problems 56% parents say their smartphone use negatively affected their emotional connection with their children (Pew Research Centre)

Kids whose parents spend more time on smartphones are likely to engage in similar behaviour (American Academy of Paediatrics)

25% of kids aged 2-5 years increase their own screen time when their parents do